Give us your “three word assessments” of the current F1 drivers
Jenson Button,
Posted By: James Allen  |  08 Aug 2014   |  3:04 pm GMT  |  359 comments

With F1 now in the midst of the summer shutdown, just over half way through the season, we thought it would be fun to run a small competition and so we’ve decided to ask F1 fans for their Three Word Assessments of the current F1 drivers.

And the winner will get a pair of signed mini-helmets of Lewis Hamilton and Nico Rosberg.

The idea of three word assessments is to sum up in a concise phrase, using just three words of English, some aspect of drivers’ character or their performance. Ideally humorous, definitely no swearing or defamation, whatever you think captures a driver. You can do one, or all 22 drivers if you want.

Nico Rosberg, Jean Eric Vergne

So for example for Nico Rosberg you might choose, “Don’t underestimate him” or “Speaks five languages” or “Lewis watch out!”

For Fernando Alonso you might go for something straight like “Never stops pushing” or something more sardonic like “Hates ear tweaking”.

It’s up to you.

Please use the comments section below to give us your Three Word Assessments of the current F1 drivers and the best one as chosen by JA on F1 staff will get a cool prize – a pair of much in-demand mini-helmets, of Nico Rosberg and Lewis Hamilton, signed by the drivers courtesy of our friends at Tata Communications

For information on how you can get involved in the F1 Connectivity Innovation Prize, click HERE

UPDATE: This competition is now closed. Thanks for taking part. The winning entry was this one from Moe S.

RAI – Rarely Appears Interested
MAL – Mishap Appears Likely
ROS – Really Outstanding Season
HAM – His Ailing Mercedes
RIC – Rapidly Improving Career
ALO – Another Lost Opportunity
VET – Victory Eluding Times
BUT – Brawn’s Ultimate Triumph
HUL – Heavily Unfair Legislation

Kamui Kobayashi, Pastor Maldonado

Sebastian Vettel, Kimi Raikkonen

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Was there a winner?


I’m assuming this competition is closed. Wish I had seen this earlier. Were winners announced?


Yes winners have been announced now. Thanks


Hamilton: Finding his Bubble.

Rosberg: Married, Leading, German?

Button: Ichi bearded Triathelete

Vettel: Where’s my finger?

Ric: Stolen a finger!

JEV: I’ll be back


Kimi: doesnt need words

Apologise if someone already used this… Not read all.


BOT: faster than you.

MAS: you know who

HAM: holding-up radio frequencies

ROS: parking in Monaco

VET: I want doughnuts

RIC: smile or die

RAI: is this ferrari?

ALO: yes this is

SCH: keeps on fighting


Last one should read: MSC. 🙂


SV – one trick pony?


ALO: Samurai on wheels

HAM: Fast but fragile

RIC: Surefooted smiling savage

RAI: Fast finicky Finn

VET: Down but determined


RAI – Rarely Appears Interested
MAL – Mishap Appears Likely
ROS – Really Outstanding Season
HAM – His Ailing Mercedes
RIC – Rapidly Improving Career
ALO – Another Lost Opportunity
VET – Victory Eluding Times
BUT – Brawn’s Ultimate Triumph
HUL – Heavily Unfair Legislation


Congratulations! This one is the winner as voted by JA on F1 staff.

We will be in touch for postal address.

Thanks everyone for taking part



Thanks a lot for this fantastic prize ! Can you confirm that you received my postal address ok ? I just want to double check that my email to you wasn’t blocked by anything.

Thanks again.


Yes all good. Prizes are on their way to you


Very clever, well done!


Bernie: Whiter than white (ahem)

Kimi: problem is Finnish

Vettel: Danny is better

F1 Car: sounds like spin-dryer

Pastor Maldonado: sack him soon


Rosberg: Now or Never

Hamilton: I’m a celebrity

Ricciardo: Friendly speed merchant

Alonso: Relentless attack dog

Bottas: Unexpectedly good work

Vettel: Sulking toy thrower

Hulkenberg: Moment has gone.

Button: Needs spark back

Massa: No road sense.

Magnussen: Will not happen

Perez: Is he quick?

Raikkonen: Communication not required

Vergne: Make or Break

Grosjean: No more crashes

Kvyat: One season wonder

Bianchi: Getting better slowly

Sutil: Time to go

Ericsson: Anonymous in rear

Gutierrez: Making up the numbers

Maldonado: Not Mr Popular

Chilton: Whats the point?

Kobayashi: History doesn’t repeat.


HAM: Humourless After Malfunctions

ROS: Racing On Sunside


KR: Nothing to say.


FA Piloto mucho macho

LH Racer or celeb?

SV Wingeing one-trick pony

PM Wingeing no-trick pony

KR Bored again champ

ALL Overpaid underemployed divas

THE SPORT Over-regulated over-complicated over-priced

THE FANS Ignored exploited despised


All F1 drivers: ‘Run by Engineers’

Sad times.


hip hop hamster – hamilton the monaco kid – rosberg

ricciardo – the smiling assassin max chilton – flat chat max

Kamui Kobayashi – the kobe kamikaze


give engines sounds


Pastor Maldonado: Bish, Bash, Bosh…. or perhaps that should be Bi$h, Ba$h, Bo$h !!


HAM – Act think reconsider

ROS – Hungerless Finnish Pauper?

ALO – Dogtanion transcending car

RAI – Lightning strikes twice

MAL – Better Buckle up

GRO – Former life nutcase

RIC – Gregariousness belies rapidity

VET – Suzie, let’s divorce

PER – Hero or Zero


HAM: Actions speak louder

ROS: The quiet achiever

HUL: Size that matters

ALO: Man vs machine

VET: Number 2 driver

BOT: Watch this space

BUT: Porche, Le Mans, 2015


How about:

ROS: New World Champion

VET: Former World Champion

ALO: Should Be Champion

BOT: Future World Champion


Daniel Ricciardo:

Bonza Grinning Sangroper (in Orstrarliyan lingo)


Grinning, Winning, Honeybadger.(in English)


Ros- Married Keke Upstager

Ham- Overtaking Luck Avoider

Ric- Smiling Dark Horse

Alo- Season Long Battler

Bot- Cold as Ice

Vet- Lower your finger

Hul- Overweight for Ferrari

But- Extremely respectable champion.

Mas- One minute champion…

Mag- Who’s Mika Hakkinen?

Per- Constant Overtaking Manouvre

Rai- Monotone yet exciting.

JEV- Backward Sounding veg

Gro- What happened Lotus?!

Kyv- Date of birth?

Bia- Retire, please Kimi!

Mal- Crash Test Dummy

Sut- Driving banned driver

Gut- Perez’s poorer understudy

Chi- British Back Marker

Kob- Donations to drive.

Eri- In Formula One?


HAM – luck will change

ROS – t’be found out

RIC – oh so smiley

ALO – same old nando

BOT – new ice man

VET – been found out

HUL – mercedes? Redbull? Please!!

BUT – oh so moany

MAS – woops another crash

MAG – not there yet

PER – annoyingly inconsistent mexican

RAI – cheque please

VER – ‘least im handsome

GRO – McLaren? Ferrari? Anyone?!!

KVY – more records coming

BIA – oh so pretty

SUT – nice knowing you

ERI – want more money

MAL – here’s more money

GUT – really, who cares?

CHI – $ $ $

KOB – car no good

Dave Arrowsmith

Rosberg: Popular with grannies

Hamilton: Ego, earrings, entitlement

Vettel: Toy chucking brat

Ricciardo: Quite bewildering really

Raikkonen: Leave me alone

Alonso: Writing his legend

Massa: 2008 World Champion

Bottas: Happy chatty Finn

Perez: Popular piggy bank

Hulkenberg: The good German

Magnussen: Not quite sure

Button: Quite a chap

Grosjean: Good in GP2

Maldonado: Massive cash reserves

Gutierrez: Police Academy Zed

Sutil: Night club brawler

Ericsson: Need for Swede

Kobayashi: Rash quitting GTs

Chilton: Dad paid cash

Bianchi: Nothing to report


Rosberg: Let me pass!

Hamilton: Don’t sulk, win.

Ricciardo: Personable, positive, successful.

Alonso: Pound for Pound

Bottas: Diamond in rough

Vettel: Needs Multi 21.

Hulkenberg: Slightly older diamond.

Button: Time’s running out.

Massa: Baby, I’m faster.

Magnussen: Good start, faded.

Perez: Fast, bit temperamental.

Raikkonen: Leave me alone.

Vergne: Like your shades.

Grosjean: Not smiling anymore.

Kvyat: Erm. He’s Russian.

Bianchi: Talented, deserves better.

Sutil: Career going backwards.

Ericsson: Too many retirements.

Gutierrez: What was that!?…

…Maldonado: Professional Crash Tester.

Chilton: Consistent I suppose.

Kobayashi: Hanging in there.


Aww, just realised I missed an opportunity with the GUT-MAL combo

Gutierrez: What was that!?…

…Maldonado: It’s me! CRASHHHHHH

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