Give us your “three word assessments” of the current F1 drivers
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Jenson Button,
Posted By: James Allen  |  08 Aug 2014   |  3:04 pm GMT  |  359 comments

With F1 now in the midst of the summer shutdown, just over half way through the season, we thought it would be fun to run a small competition and so we’ve decided to ask F1 fans for their Three Word Assessments of the current F1 drivers.

And the winner will get a pair of signed mini-helmets of Lewis Hamilton and Nico Rosberg.

The idea of three word assessments is to sum up in a concise phrase, using just three words of English, some aspect of drivers’ character or their performance. Ideally humorous, definitely no swearing or defamation, whatever you think captures a driver. You can do one, or all 22 drivers if you want.

Nico Rosberg, Jean Eric Vergne

So for example for Nico Rosberg you might choose, “Don’t underestimate him” or “Speaks five languages” or “Lewis watch out!”

For Fernando Alonso you might go for something straight like “Never stops pushing” or something more sardonic like “Hates ear tweaking”.

It’s up to you.

Please use the comments section below to give us your Three Word Assessments of the current F1 drivers and the best one as chosen by JA on F1 staff will get a cool prize – a pair of much in-demand mini-helmets, of Nico Rosberg and Lewis Hamilton, signed by the drivers courtesy of our friends at Tata Communications

For information on how you can get involved in the F1 Connectivity Innovation Prize, click HERE

UPDATE: This competition is now closed. Thanks for taking part. The winning entry was this one from Moe S.

RAI – Rarely Appears Interested
MAL – Mishap Appears Likely
ROS – Really Outstanding Season
HAM – His Ailing Mercedes
RIC – Rapidly Improving Career
ALO – Another Lost Opportunity
VET – Victory Eluding Times
BUT – Brawn’s Ultimate Triumph
HUL – Heavily Unfair Legislation

Kamui Kobayashi, Pastor Maldonado

Sebastian Vettel, Kimi Raikkonen

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359 Comments
  1. SteveH says:

    Lewis Hamilton: Fast, fragile, unfocused.

    1. Brent says:

      Fanatically, faithful, followers?

      1. SteveH says:

        Yep.

      2. Wayne says:

        HAM: Mixin’ Motor Maestro or Divides but Conquers
        ALO: Sage Scarlet Savant
        BUT: Percipient Pink Power-train or Pretty In Pink or Every Right Call
        VET: Foremost Five-star Forerunner or Off Throttle Legend
        RIC: Beaming Boy Wonder or Drives for Joy
        ROS: Germaine German Joy!rider

        SCHUMI: All Good Wishes!

      3. Mark Robinson says:

        RAI: Not Fernando Alonso
        or
        RIC: New Aussie Grit

    2. SteveH says:

      How is this analysis of Hamilton ill treating him? He’s fast, a compliment, he’s fragile in that he carries his heart on his sleeve, and he’s unfocused because of all the distractions he has with hangers’ on, etc. And frankly I don’t want anybody ‘praying’ for me.

    3. Jeff Spencer says:

      Ros- Finnish-not, Finish Always
      Ham-World’s Fastest Popstar
      Ric- Muggin’ Honey Badger
      Alo- World’s Fastest Monobrow
      Bot-Finnish Fairly Fast
      Vet- Suzie Doesn’t Blow
      Hul- Always a Bridesmaid
      But- Chamion Has Been
      Mas- Somebody Elses Fault
      Mag- Dewy Danish Delicacy
      Per- Slims Boy-Toy
      Rai- Dry Ice
      JEV- 5-O-clock Shaddow of Riccardio
      Gro-Headcase Schmeadcase
      Kyv- Helmut’s Boy-Toy
      Bia- Italian Job Almost
      Mal- Crash Test Transient
      Sut- Splash & Slash
      Gut- Well Financed Monobrow
      Chi- Pounds Over Stones
      Kob- Bonzai Samurai Zero
      Eri- Swedish Meatball

      1. me says:

        very nice

      2. Alec Tronix says:

        Jeff Spencer’s Chilton = “pounds over stones” must be the winner!

      3. JOHN H says:

        Great :)

      4. TGS says:

        Winner.

      5. John says:

        22 out of 22 . For Kimi add Man to make it three words.

      6. Sidecar says:

        This is the winner. I’m not even going to bother putting mine done. I was only going to insult maldanardo any way. Aw well I’m here now so I might as well.

        Worse than hyrpes

      7. Andrew S says:

        Lovely Jeff. This is a gem “JEV- 5-O-clock Shaddow of Riccardio”.. though how could you resist MAL – Crash Test *ummy ? (oh of course – no defamation allowed!)

      8. H.Guderian (ALO Fan) says:

        Mas- Somebody Elses Fault

        hahahahah……………..

      9. Nikos says:

        Ha ha! You are killing me! HAM, ALO and GUT being the best!

    4. Garry says:

      “…it is about time you respect him and stop all those disrespectful none sense…”

      Seriously? His comment was not disrespectful in the slightest.

      I think it’s about time you stop *abusing* people for having an opinion which differs from your own.

    5. NICO ROSBERG: METICULOUS COMMITTED ARCHITECT
      FERNANDO ALONSO; TECHNICALLY GIFTED CRAFTSMAN
      LEWIS HAMILTON; DELIRIOUS UNCONTROLLED SUPERNOVA
      SEBASTIAN VETTEL ; UNBELIEVABLE INCREDIBLE STUPENDOUS
      KIMI RAIKONNEN; NATURAL COMPETITIVE INSTINCT
      DANIEL RICCIARDO SCHOOLED SURPRISING DYNAMIC

      1. Steve Mc says:

        WHY YOU SHOUTING?!

      2. I AM SHOUTING BECAUSE I TYPING FROM THE PIT LANE AND VETTEL, FED UP WITH THE NEW WHISPER QUITE CARS, HAS JUST CUT A MASSIVE HOLE IN HIS EXHAUST. SOUND PRESSURE DOUBLED, NOW YOU’RE TALKING TO ME BABY!!!

    6. JOHN H says:

      Religion? Really!

    7. Gudien says:

      James Allen: Best Web Site

      1. ruben says:

        don’t like redesign

    8. aveli says:

      @steveh, what does fragile mean? will anyone of you be able to beat hamilton at arm wrestling? or can anyone of you be able to cope with being sat in a car at 200mph approaching a corner with a brick wall on the other side of it? now think about all the media pressure he soaks up day in day out. whether he’s on pole or not all the world’s media demand to talk to him. whether he wins or not they still demand to speak with him. none of the drivers experience half as much of the media pressure he experiences. he even gets media pressure for not smiling after an unsatisfactory result. how does the word fragile correctly describe him? it’s all condescension and disrespectful.

      1. kartrace1 says:

        Just chill out. All that is part of his job

      2. Brent says:

        You seem a bit fragile when it comes to opinions on Hamilton you don’t agree with. I think fragile is an apt description of Hamilton emotionally. He certainly has the most dramatic mood swings of any of the drivers. Much of the media coverage he has to deal with is of his own making, brought on by stupid things he says or does, due to the fragility of his emotions.
        The “you couldn’t do what he does” argument always sounds like it was written by a kid.

      3. aveli says:

        interesting brent, i was under the impression that fragile meant his mental state was easily broken or delicate. but am sure he is mentally the strongest driver out there. senna was leading a race in monaco by a very long way and crashed on the last lap of the race. he went straight to his apartment, had a shower and left the circuit simply because he couldn’t cope with explaining it to the team. hamilton on the other hand has never run away from adversity. all the drivers believe hamilton is the knarliest driver out there so how can the knarliest driver possibly be described as fragile? i am a truth fanatic.

      4. kenneth chapman says:

        @ brent hahahaha it was.

    9. Grant says:

      The guys he’s beating must just be GIRLS!… :D

    10. aveli says:

      @steveh if you pay attention you’d notice a tattoo of a cross on hamilton and after his car caught fire he wore a rosary. is that relevant to this?

    11. Wade says:

      Generally Across All Drivers, mostly implied towards the fact that the teams dont let them do anything:

      1. Boring
      2. Restricted
      3. In-Personable.

      I just think that in general the current drivers are all too well media trained, too focused on what they can and cant say when representing sponsors and dont connect with the public all that much. My only acception is Ricciardo and Im a Ricciardo fan.

      They feel unapproachable too. They are just representations of labels willing to pay the cashola

  2. David Stricker says:

    Too Many Paydrivers

    1. jim says:

      = don’t care anymore

    2. Hare says:

      Capitalistic, immature, irrelevant

      Ridiculous Money based sport meaning drivers don’t have to win to be comfortable. with drivers who aren’t pushing the envelope of driving endeavour and technology that doesn’t push the ultimate performance envelope either.

      I still watch the sport, but I’m at a loss as to explain what they are really proving.

  3. jrhbcn says:

    Alonso: milkman, always delivers.

  4. Kevin McCaughey says:

    Much wasted talent

  5. Michael says:

    LH- the fastest driver
    NR- good number two
    FA- always there abouts
    KR- best days behind
    KM – still learning, quick
    VB- faster than Massa
    FM- he almost was
    NH- one for future
    SP- podium or nothing
    SV- used to win
    DR – the real deal
    PM -money money money
    RG- needs better car
    JBi- waiting for ferrari
    MC- always finishes, last.

    1. Michael says:

      How could I forget JB… Can’t find balance

      1. glennb says:

        Got no grip

    2. Richard Mee says:

      Excellent…

    3. Karen says:

      Can’t argue with any of that, superb

    4. Pkara says:

      Brilliant :-)

    5. JOHN H says:

      thank you :)

    6. Aquataz says:

      Excellent You Win

  6. Cheq says:

    Mercedes:

    NR: The fortunate underdog
    LH: Mindgames aren’t working

    Red Bull:

    DR: Beating the champ
    SV: Suzie not delivering

    Ferrari:

    FA: Midfield car maestro
    KR: Where’s first gear?

    McLaren:

    JB: Another uncompetitive car
    KM: Podium in Oz

    Force India:

    NH: Still no podium
    SP: Wolff in kitchen

    Toro Rosso:

    DK: Youngest points scorer
    JEV: Goodbye F1 career

    Sauber:

    AS: Has 99 problems
    EG: No points yet?

    Lotus:

    RG: McLaren Honda 2015
    PM: Car flipping fun

    Marussia:

    JB: Where’s my Ferrari?
    MC: Woo, 21st baby!

    Caterham:

    KK: Overtaking not possible
    ME: Enjoying sponsorship money?

    1. Sasidharan says:

      Willaims?

  7. Lou Folino says:

    Entertaining us all

  8. Optimaximal says:

    Vettel – ‘Title Defense Off’

    Hamilton – ‘Dogged but cursed’

    Rosberg – ‘Sneaky in Monaco’

    Massa – ‘Not my Fault!’

    Maldonaldo – ‘Outta the Way!’

    1. William Stuart says:

      Lewis Hamilton – British, so brilliant
      Nico Rosberg – Brains over brawn
      Daniel Ricciardo – Certainly no webber
      Sebastian Vettel – Gimme my diffuser!
      Valtteri Bottas – Number one Finn
      Felipe Massa – adiós prancing horse!
      Fernando Alonso – Four straight years!
      Kimi Raikönnen – this ain’t ‘ice
      Jenson Button – Hello Eddie Jordan
      Kevin Magnussen – Please Honda, please…
      Nico Hulkenberg – Could be worse
      Sergio Perez – about the same…
      Daniil Kvyat –
      Max Chilton – Tortoise, not hare

      1. William Stuart says:

        Daniil Kvyat – vettel’s grim reaper
        JEV – Goodbye cruel world!
        Romain Grosjean – Come back Eric!!!
        Pastor Maldonado – Wham! Bam! Ban!
        Esteban Gutierrez – wait, which one?
        Adrian Sutil – Cul-De-Sac
        Jules Bianchi – Cool as ice
        Max Chilton (as seen above)
        Kamui Kobayashi – a true racer
        Marcus Ericsson – The best swede

  9. peter says:

    Ricciado – beating vettel easily

    1. Mr Squiggle says:

      what about – ‘Next Big Thing’

  10. F1 Badger says:

    LH- Fast Fragile Champion
    NR- Dependable Professional Unbreakable
    DR- Well Deserved Victor
    SV- Truth comes out
    FA- Faster than Ferrari
    KR- Better next season
    JB- Failed by McLaren
    KM- Experience will empower

    1. F1 Badger says:

      FM- only bad luck
      VB- wow limitless potential
      PM- money over talent
      RG- any faster drives?!
      JBianchi -well done twice
      MC- must get quicker
      KK- glad your here
      ME- could be worse
      NH- deserves faster car
      AS- bring back Paul
      DK- keep her lit
      JV- good team member

      1. F1 Badger says:

        EG- good for Mexico

    2. jetsse says:

      How true for FA I like it

  11. Thomas says:

    HAM – Fast But Fragile
    ROS – Taking His Chances
    RIC – Speedy Smiling Surprise
    VET – Chips Are Down
    ALO – Same Old Nando
    RAI – Needs More Ice
    BOT – Who Needs Ice?
    MAS – This Side Up
    HUL – Tall Guys Rule
    PER – A Lonesome Podium
    BUT – Still Fighting Fit
    MAG – Doing Jan Proud
    KVY – Boy To Man
    VER – Unfortunately Sugar Free
    SUT – Grey Is Grey
    GUT – A Rollercoaster Ride
    GRO – Save The Mammoths
    MAL – Save The Humans
    BIA – Ferrari’s Prodigal Son
    CHI – Nearly There Max
    KOB – Faster Than Vettel
    ERI – Please Try Again

    1. Rich says:

      Some good ones there, ‘nearly there max’ being my favourite.

  12. Philip Guest says:

    Pastor Maldonado: “crash, bang, wallop”

    1. mike says:

      love it

  13. My 3-word assessments!
    Sebastian Vettel: Is getting annoyed.
    Daniel Ricciardo: Never stops smiling!
    Lewis Hamilton: Setting the pace.
    Nico Rosberg: Consistency is key.
    Fernando Alonso: Relentless, wise, Indefatigable.
    Kimi Raikkonen: What’s gone wrong?
    Romain Grosjean: Perfectly adequate, currently.
    Pastor Maldonado: Woeful pay driver.
    Jenson Button: Pink for Papa.
    Kevin Magnussen: Faster than father.
    Nico Hulkenberg: Podium is imminent.
    Sergio Perez: Basic speed apparent.
    Adrian Sutil: Tough team change.
    Esteban Gutierrez: Crashes too often.
    Jean-Eric Vergne: Seems he’s plateaued.
    Daniil Kvyat: Arguably fastest rookie.
    Felipe Massa: Excruciatingly unlucky chap.
    Valtteri Bottas: The new Hakkinen.
    Jules Bianchi: Finally scored points!
    Max Chilton: Crashed into Bianchi.
    Kamui Kobayashi: Still very popular.
    Marcus Ericsson: Barely noticed him.

    I hope you liked them. Sorry if some of them were a bit harsh!

  14. PM says:

    Kimi Raikkonen “Leave Him Alone”

    1. PM says:

      Fernando Alonso “Faster than you”

      Pastor Maldonado “da-dum da-dum da-dum”

      Felipe Massa “Not my fault”

      Jenson Button “King of Adverts”

      Nico Rosberg “How’s my hair?”

      Lewis Hamilton “It’s hammer time”

      Great competition James! Can’t wait to read everyone else’s replies.

      1. Don says:

        I don’t know the judge of this contest (is it you James?) but “it’s hammer time” should be a winner! Perfect…

      2. Zesssmo says:

        Lewis: “It’s hammer time”. Love to hear it on the radio.

  15. Abovo says:

    Nico Rosberg – Following father’s steps
    Lewis Hamilton – Tries too hard
    Daniel Ricciardo – Smiles to ears
    Fernando Alonso – Faster than Massa
    Valtteri Bottas – New flying finn
    Sebastian Vettel – Four finger champion
    Nico Hülkenberg – Heavy for Ferrari
    Jenson Button – Master of rain
    Felipe Massa – Half minute champion
    Kevin Magnussen – Into deep water
    Sergio Pérez – Can’t handle pressure
    Kimi Räikkönen – Don’t bother him
    Jean-Éric Vergne – Only way out
    Romain Grosjean – Grabbed second chance
    Daniil Kvyat – eyeing Vettel’s place
    Jules Bianchi – certain Ferrari driver
    Pastor Maldonado – Better take cover
    Adrian Sutil – no podium recorder
    Esteban Gutiérrez – Money keeps him
    Max Chilton – Slow but safe
    Kamui Kobayashi – noone wants Japanese
    Marcus Ericsson – Isn’t Super Swede

    1. Sasidharan says:

      Like the Four Finger Champion

  16. AuraF1 says:

    Lewis: ‘we’re not friends’
    Nico: ‘my brakes work’
    Vettel: ‘losing really sucks’
    Ricciardo: ‘winning is great’
    Alonso: ‘Ferrari really sucks’
    Kimi: ‘Ferrari really sucks’
    Massa: ‘nobody hit me!’
    Bottas: ‘faster than Kimi’
    Button: ‘shut up Ron’
    K-mag: ‘giz a job’
    Perez: ‘the podiums mine’
    Hulkenberg: ‘I scored more’
    Guitterez: ‘why, sauber? Why?’
    Sutil: ‘why, sauber? Why?’
    Vergne: ‘aren’t I winning?’
    Kvyat: ‘Russian roulette rules’
    Chilton: ‘a team effort’
    Bianchi: ‘more my effort’
    The Caterham one I always forget: ‘hello? Hello? Anybody?’
    Kobyashi: ‘don’t fire me’

    1. Random 79 says:

      Lol on the second to last, absolutely +1 :)

    2. Zane says:

      lol, my favorite is Nico’s, “My brakes work”. Also love lewis, “we’re not friends”

  17. Peter Rogers says:

    Felipe Massa:

    “Mistakes make people.”

  18. Lewis McMurray says:

    Lewis Hamilton – Still he rises
    Nico Rosberg – Quicker than dad
    Daniel Ricciardo – Revelation of season
    Sebastian Vettel – Slump only temporary
    Fernando Alonso – New car please
    Kimi Raikkonen – Never shuts up…
    Felipe Massa – Happiest with Rob
    Valtteri Bottas – New flying Finn
    Nico Hulkenberg – King of consistency
    Sergio Perez – Do or die
    Jenson Button – Smooth as silk
    Kevin Magnussen – Australia not fluke
    Jean-Eric Vergne – Needs to shine
    Daniil Kvyat – Marko’s new boy
    Romain Grosjean – Will win races
    Pastor Maldonado – Where’s the brake?
    Jules Bianchi – Future world champion
    Max Chilton – Never breaks down
    Adrian Sutil – Doesn’t like Lewis
    Esteban Gutierrez – That other Mexican
    Kamui Kobayashi – Best Japanese driver
    Marcus Ericsson – No Ronnie Peterson

  19. Racehound says:

    Fernando Alonso….Simply the best………..Lewis Hamilton…qwik fit fitter…..Nico Rosberg…Whos behind me?…………Seb Vettel….This car sucks………….Dan Ricciardo…This car ROCKS!!!!………..Pastor Maldonado…I crash you.

    1. F1 Badger says:

      Like the RB drivers comments!!

  20. Mark says:

    Hamilton; Up then down
    Alonso; In wrong car
    Vettel; Not as good
    Riccardo; Can’t stop smiling
    Rosberg; In right car
    Bottas; Franks new hero
    Massa; Has no luck
    Magnussen; Worse than Button
    Maldonado; Stock car racer?
    Chilton; Handsome tail ender
    Raikkonen; Trying his best

    basta…

  21. Carlos Marques says:

    Ok, I’ll do one for Massa: “_____ faster than you”

  22. AndyFov says:

    Daniel Ricciardo: Winning whilst grinning.

  23. Paul D says:

    Lewis Hamilton – Never Stops Pushing.
    Nico Rosberg – The Flying Finn!
    Fernando Alonso – The Grand Master.
    Kimi Raikonnen – Motivation in Question.
    Daniel Ricciardo – World Champion Destroyer.
    Sebastian Vettel – Nothing to Prove.
    Jenson Button – Ron’s Favourite Driver.
    Kevin Magnussen – Brilliant First Race
    Valtteri Bottas – Future World Champion.
    Felipe Massa – Never His Fault.
    Nico Hulkenberg – Deserves Top Drive.
    Sergio Perez – Fast and Inconsistent.
    Adrian Sutil – DTM is calling.
    Esterban Gutierrez – Magnet for Maldonado.
    Romain Grosjean – Proving Doubters Wrong.
    Pastor Maldonado – Proving Doubters Right.
    Jean Eric Verne – Ladies Love Him.
    Daniil Kvyat – What a Find.
    Max Chilton – Slowly Getting There.
    Jules Bianchi – Scuderia Seat Waiting.
    Kamui Kobayashi – Deserves Better Equipment.
    Marcus Ericsson – Insert Comment Here.

  24. Jock Ulah says:

    Mercedes, Red Bull, Ferrari, Williams and McLaren . . .

    NR : set for glory
    LH : same DNF story

    SV : fall from grace
    DR : found his pace

    FA : flogging dead horse
    KR : nodding spent force

    VB : moments of brilliance
    FM : relies on resilience

    JB : soon to retire
    KM : a gifted trier

  25. 123 says:

    Alo eat dust kimi
    Rai ice has melted
    Vet fast but unlucky
    Ric smile of speed
    Ham to many mistakes
    Ros fast and reliable
    Bott consistent podium fighter
    Mas not my fault

  26. Micha Ward says:

    Nico Rosberg – Lucky Lottery Winner
    Lewis Hamilton – Make A Hole
    Daniel Ricciardo – 2016 World Champion
    Fernando Alonso – Walks On Water
    Valtteri Bottas – Watered Down Iceman
    Sebastian Vettel – Law of Averages
    Nico Hulkenberg – Walking Driver Rumor
    Jenson Button – Will Not Honda
    Felipe Massa – Shut Up, Drive
    Kevin Magnussen – Dilly Dallying Dane
    Sergio Perez – Shunt Or Nothing
    Kimi Räikkönen – Happy Hour Hero
    Jean-Eric Vergne – Optional Seat Warmer
    Romain Grosjean – Occasionally Lifts Now
    Daniil Kvyat – Prom King Peaking
    Jules Bianchi – Never Driving Ferrari
    Adrian Sutil – Got 99 Problems
    Marcus Ericsson – Who Is This?
    Pastor Maldonado – Why Why Why
    Esteban Gutierrez – Did Not Finish
    Max Chilton – Daddy’s Money Man
    Kamui Kobayashi – Just Happy Here

  27. Richard says:

    Can’t wait untill this article has a 100 replies.

  28. Tomas says:

    NR – Clever deception skills
    LH – Fastidiou and fast

  29. Harb says:

    MAS – Other Guy’s Fault

  30. Phil Glass says:

    Kimi – Still Ferrari’s Champion!

    Alonso – Singapore Sling Anyone?

    Lewis – “Hungrier Than Nico”

  31. Dan says:

    HAM – Incredibly bad luck
    ROS – Not really German
    RIC – Outshining his teammate
    ALO – The surging Spaniard
    BOT – A rising star
    VET – Back to reality
    HUL – The racers reacer
    BUT – The F1 ambassador
    MAS – One last hurrah
    MAG – Less than advertised
    PER – Better with Sauber
    RAI – Lost some pace
    VER – Always second best
    GRO – The unhappy elephant
    KVY – The Russian rusher
    BIA – Ready for Ferrari
    SUT – Mr. short temper
    ERI – Good in bad
    MAL – The incident magnet
    GUT – A rain master
    CHI – Paying his way
    KOB – The last samurai

  32. Gary Naylor says:

    HAM: Back to Champion

  33. Sebastian Vettel – Multi three one

    1. ferggsa says:

      My vote goes to you

    2. Pedro Andrade says:

      Splendid!

  34. Pedro Andrade says:

    Hamilton: Envies Nico’s childhood
    Rosberg: Uninspiring champ wannabe
    Vettel: Increasingly frustrated boy
    Ricciardo: Webber’s best revenge
    Alonso: Deserves fast car
    Kimi: Is this Iceman?
    Bottas: This is Iceman!
    Massa: Not quite there
    Button: Wanted pink podium
    Magnussen: Baby face podium
    Hulkenberg: Will be champion
    Pérez: OK, I guess
    Maldonado: Stop crashing already
    Grosjean: Trying his best
    Bianchi: Flattering his car
    Chilton: Too damn blond
    Kobayashi: Missing banzai overtakes
    Ericson: Not interesting enough
    Sutil: Missing Force India
    Gutierrez: Please go home

  35. mjsib2301 says:

    Alo – Spanish driving god
    Rai – couldn’t care less
    Ham – It’s hammer time
    Ros – I love telemetry
    Vet – number two driver
    Ric – Mark Webber who?
    Bot – cooler than Kimi
    Mas – young driver magnet
    But – no dandruff here
    Mag – faster than dad
    Hul – fast but tall
    Per – rich benefactors help
    Ver – on borrowed time
    Kvy – play station generation
    Mal – expert crash investigator
    Gro – french or swiss?
    Bia – look out Kimi
    Chi – slow and steady
    Gut – see perez’s words
    Sut – rather play piano
    Eri – the new maldonado
    Kob -

  36. mjsib2301 says:

    Alo – Spanish driving god
    Rai – couldn’t care less
    Ham – It’s hammer time
    Ros – I love telemetry
    Vet – number two driver
    Ric – Mark Webber who?
    Bot – cooler than Kimi
    Mas – young driver magnet
    But – no dandruff here
    Mag – faster than dad
    Hul – fast but tall
    Per – rich benefactors help
    Ver – on borrowed time
    Kvy – play station generation
    Mal – expert crash investigator
    Gro – french or swiss?
    Bia – look out Kimi
    Chi – slow and steady
    Gut – see perez’s words
    Sut – rather play piano
    Eri – the new maldonado
    Kob – needs more money

    1. Random 79 says:

      Shouldn’t that be expert crash instigator? ;)

    2. Scepter says:

      You have the best understanding of what james was alluding to when he said “Ideally humorous”, some of the other comment looks like slagging off the driver you most dislike.

    3. Kenneth M'Boy says:

      Number two driver, very funny. Mark Webber would buy you a beer over that one.

  37. Gaz Boy says:

    Lewis – Ballsy British Bulldog
    Jenson – Thinking of Papa
    Rosberg Jnr – Father and Son
    Mini Mag – Slightly uncooked Danish
    Fernando – Spain’s Last Hope
    Kimi – Defrosted Choc Ice
    Danny Boy – Daniel slays Goliath
    Seb – Champ to chump
    Gros – Keep your focus
    Mald – Remember the money
    Vergne – The last opportunity
    Kyvat – Maturing very nicely
    Hulk – Mallyas Mr consistent
    Checo – Fiery Mexican chilli
    Sutil – Time runs out
    Guiterrez – Mexican Pesos Supplier
    Bianchi – Prodigal Son Delivers
    Max – Keep trying son
    Bottas – Future World Champion?
    Massa – Crash Bang Wallop
    Kobayashi – Where’s my brakes?
    Ericsson – This is tough

    1. Gaz Boy says:

      Totally unrelated, but breaking news: the German bank has rejected Mr E’s offer of UK £20 million. It is unknown what happens next, but they (the bank) could, potentially, launch civil proceedings against Mr E.

  38. Joshua says:

    RD -fast and happy
    FA-faster and furious
    LH- experiencing friendly fire
    NR -keke’s son reborn.
    KR – ice ice maybe
    SV- blown diffuser required
    FM -why always me
    VB- the new iceman
    SP – one more chance
    NH -skills without equipment
    JV- times almost up
    DK- great red hope

  39. EMG says:

    ROS — Friends with benefits
    HAM — Unbelivable, isn’t IT?
    VET — I can’t drive!
    RIC — I’m all teeth!!
    ALO — 100 million boy
    MAL — Money always dictates
    RAI — I don’t care!
    MAS – Not my fault!
    BUT — McLaren’s fit model

    1. furstyferret says:

      Ros_ultimate plastic german

  40. Gary Naylor says:

    Taxi driver, anyone?

    1. Random 79 says:

      *puts hand up*

    2. JohnBt says:

      Luca – taxi owner?

  41. Jacob says:

    Hamilton – All about speed
    Rosberg – All about consistency
    Vettel – Champion no more
    Ricciardo – True Aussie grit
    Alonso – Still the best
    Raikkonen – Iceman is melting
    Bottas – Iceman Mark 2
    Massa – Brazilian spirit reignited
    Hulkenberg – Ferrari in waiting?
    Perez – Getting elbows out
    Button – Sadly slowing veteran
    Magnussen – Talented if raw
    Vergne – Time’s running out
    Kvyat – Solid career start
    Grosjean – Improved frustrated Frenchman
    Maldonado – $ $ $
    Bianchi – Points, future Ferrariman?
    Chilton – Consistently at back
    Sutil – Still as slow
    Gutierrez – Mexican GP? Unlikely
    Kobayashi – Wasted fan money
    Ericsson – Marcus phone home

    1. Jacob says:

      AlsoI’d like to revise my Magnussen statement to “Better than Dad”

  42. AfterLife says:

    I don’t want Mercedes drivers signed helmets but i can give them my Tshirts without autograph.
    Here is my thought about some drivers

    Nico Rosberg: 2014 worthy champion
    Lewis Hamilton: SkySport Delusional Champion
    Kimi Raikkonen: So overrated One
    Fernando Alonso: King of drivers
    Nico Hulkenberg: The most complete driver after Fernando Alonso
    Jules Bianchi: Future F1 Star
    Daniel Ricciardo: Future F1 Star
    Jenson Button: Worthless Champion “two words are enough”
    Sebastian Vettel: Worthless Champion “two words are enough”

    1. Jeremy J says:

      If you say Button was a worthless champion you are presumably talking about the fact that he lucked into the fastest car on the grid. True (although I disagree with the moniker). But if you say that then you have to also apply it to whichever Merc driver wins this year, especially if it’s Rosberg as he’s not a previous world champion.

      1. AfterLife says:

        Button is worthless champion because imo he is an average driver. About his 2009 season, the car was fast and he won it. Same goes for Vettel, what an overrated driver he is.

        Rosberg is very adoptable, intellegent and hardworker. That is the reason i believe he is worthy 2014 champion. Hamilton is not prepared to win another championship imo. He is not intelligent and can’t keep his cool.

    2. Rider says:

      You are dreaming if you thing Rosberg is a worthy champion.He doesn’t deserve anything after what happened in Hungary and especially when he tells his engineer on how to drive lol.

    3. Don says:

      LH: still he rises!

    4. Sasidharan says:

      like the one for LH

  43. Michael says:

    SV – Quadruple World Chumpion

  44. mike says:

    Bernie: Pay Me More

    1. C63 says:

      +1

      Bernie – greed is good . Or perhaps – It’s never enough

  45. vineet says:

    HAM Fast Unlucky Champ
    ROS good no 2
    ALO Never gives up

  46. aveli says:

    hamilton: pray for ill-treaters.

  47. Ryan says:

    HAM – Petulant Radio Headcase
    ROS – Let Me Past
    RIC – Smiling Assassin Wins
    VET – Champ Can’t Adapt
    ALO – Still The Fastest
    RAI – Thank You Ferrari
    BOT – New Iceman Cometh
    MAS – Who To Blame?
    BIA – Ferrari Seatfitting Soon

  48. Hello says:

    Definite arrested development.

  49. Jeremy J says:

    It’s all puns from here on in….

    HUL: Don’t make angry
    GUT: I’m a Mexican’t
    ALO: Reigns in Spain
    BUT: Swims, Cycles, Runs
    GRO: Show must Grosjean
    CHI: Where’s the receipt?
    RAI: Raikkonen the money
    MAS: Alonso is faster
    BOT: Finn in’t water
    JEV: Jean Eric spurned
    KOB: Here I Cooooommmmmeeeeeeee!!!!!!
    MAL: Pasta Maldonado, 2go

    And to go back a few years, if you could have one for James Hunt it would be: iiiiiiit’s me, Hooray!

    Off topic, but it occurred to me that a few years ago when Toro Rosso went through Bordais, Vettel and Buemi, STR could have stood for Sebastian Toro Rosso.

    I’m here all week.

    J

  50. JB64 says:

    Ham: Mostly brilliant… Mostly.
    Ros: Showing his teeth
    Vet: Getting found out
    Ric: Future is now
    Alo: Quick car please!
    Rai: Rally car please.
    But: Better than retirement
    Mag: Little bit good
    Hul: Points mean prizes?
    Per: Steadily going backwards
    Gro: Unfortunate company man
    Mal: Bad move, bro
    Sut: I’m still here?
    Gut: Yep, still here
    KOB: Great start, but…
    Eri: Must do better
    Bia: Next year, right?
    Chi: Silverstone was scary!

  51. Ieuan says:

    [mod]
    ROS- Some questionable tactics
    VET- Let’s Blame Renault
    PER- Worse than Di-Resta
    BUT- Where’s the Balance?
    MAG- I like Finn’s
    VER- He’s on fire
    KYV- Improves Russian Market
    MAL- Contact doesn’t frighten

  52. Rod says:

    Bernie’s next idea:

    Race stark naked

  53. VV says:

    SV: Strangely underrated genius
    DR: Surprise of season
    MC: Daddy’s money talks
    JB: Ferrari seat imminent?
    NR: Better than dad
    LH: Own worst enemy
    KR: Still got it?
    FA: Wasted: a crime
    RG: How good really?
    PM: Oil money talks
    ME: Ricardo Rosset redux
    KK: Talent gone away?
    SP: Fast but clumsy
    NH: Brilliant but untested
    FM: On the wane?
    VB: Lots of potential
    KM: Little bit underwhelming
    JB: Stale, needs change
    EB: Strangely thick neck
    AS: Waste of space
    JEV: Sadly rather anonymous
    DV: Marko knows talent!

  54. Karima Shah says:

    Kimi Raikonnen: Fast and Free
    Fernando Alonso: Great but Emotional
    Lewis Hamilton: Talent no Brains
    Nico Rosberg: Cold and Fast
    Jenson Button: Best days behind
    Kevin Magnussen: Jury still out
    Nico Hulkenberg: Another Nick Heidfeld
    Sergio Perez: Punching above weight
    Sebastian Vettel: Deserving multiple champion
    Daniel Ricciardo: Quicker than Webber
    Valetteri Bottas: New Flying Finn
    Felipe Massa: Faster than You
    Adrian Sutil: Last chance saloon
    Esteban Guittearaz: Back to GP2
    Jules Bianchi: A Sauber Future
    Max Chilton: Wasted at back

  55. Larry Parker says:

    LH – the Brits’ Senna
    NR – not like dad

    DR – better than Webber
    SV – how to rate?

    FA – top ten ever
    KR – what wasted talent

    JB – misses his dad
    KM – not like dad

    NH – why no calls?
    SP – crashes too much

    DK – the Russian missile (ouch!)
    JEV – deserves another chance

    FM – long in tooth
    VB – the newest Iceman

    AS – time to leave
    EG – waiting for Mexico

    JB – Ferrari one day
    MC – not exactly money

    ME – why’s he here?
    KK – crashes too much

    RG – needs new home
    PM – how’d he win?

  56. Richard H says:

    SV- lucky in love
    DR- channel tunnel smile
    LH- one isn’t enough
    NR, passive aggressive German
    FA needs a break
    KR enter the iceman
    RG recovering banned driver
    PM why’re you here??
    JB excuses excuses excuses
    KM unexpected serial killer
    NH hulk without bulk
    SP kimi’s sparing partner
    AS shanghai bar warrior
    EG Maldonardos best friend
    JV not Daniel Riccardo
    DK marko’s wet dream
    FM ah for sure
    VB another frozen personality
    JB taking marrusia’s virginity
    MC the outclassed sibling
    KK you’ve been kk’d
    ME just another cheque

  57. Cuba says:

    Alonso: Slow car? Irrelevant.

    Ricciardo: World’s Fastest Smile

    Kimi: One 99 Please

  58. micheal grig says:

    Lewis Hamilton –fast yet labile
    Nico Rosberg –let me please..
    Fernando Alonso – .run baby run !!
    Kimi Raikonnen – this red…bad
    Daniel Ricciardo – smile to be
    Sebastian Vettel – another day lost
    Jenson Button – calculate dear ….calculate
    Kevin Magnussen –Ill push you
    Valtteri Bottas – Will ; so fast?!?
    Felipe Massa – next life though
    Nico Hulkenberg – patient ? how long ?
    Sergio Perez –ole !! I passed!
    Adrian Sutil – good but late?!?!
    Esterban Gutierrez – Im still learning
    Romain Grosjean – damn it!
    Pastor Maldonado –Ha ! still here!!
    Jean Eric Verne – why nothing coming??
    Daniil Kvyat –.Ill show you !!
    Max Chilton – why?? sweet mine
    Jules Bianchi – trying so hard
    Kamui Kobayashi –no way here
    Marcus Ericsson – next time better

  59. Mark D says:

    All the same

  60. Dave Nixon says:

    Mercedes:

    NR: number one German
    LH: Hare or tortoise?

    Williams:
    FM: Almost world champion
    VB: future world champion

    Red Bull:

    DR: Better than Vettel
    SV: enough darned Aussies

    Ferrari:

    FA: Mister 100 Percent
    KR: ice is melting

    McLaren:

    JB: comfortably into retirement
    KM: learning, learning, learning

    Force India:

    NH: best of rest
    SP: Slice n dice

    Toro Rosso:

    DK: the new iceman
    JEV: Just enough vroom

    Sauber:

    AS: impossible Monaco manouvers
    EG: slowly grinding away

    Lotus:

    RG: goat becomes gazelle
    PM: bought a lemon

    Marussia:

    JB: future with Ferrari
    MC: consistent cash cow

    Caterham:

    KK: driving catering truck
    ME: mobile restaurant endeavours

  61. Random 79 says:

    NR: Still in front…
    LH: Not for long…
    DR: Against all odds
    SV: Odds all against
    FA: Maybe next year…
    KR: Exit clause imminent
    FM: Thank you Ferrari :)
    VB: Cool as cucumber
    SP: Up and down
    NH: Just too heavy :(
    JB: I’ve got understeer
    KM: A new hope
    DK: Career just starting
    JEV: Career soon ending
    RG: Miss you Eric :(
    PM: Thirty million reasons
    JB: TWO FREAKING POINTS!!! :D :D
    MC: ^ Helped fund that :)
    EG: Token Telmex driver
    AS: Still kicking around
    ME: Green for green
    KK: Was that Vettel? ;)

    1. aveli says:

      i think you’re winning so far.

      1. Random 79 says:

        Cheers aveli :)

  62. Grant H says:

    Lewis hamilton – never gives up
    Alonso – most complete f1 driver
    Ricciardo – better try harder seb
    Bottas – calm untapped talent

  63. Steve says:

    Hamilton: unlucky for some
    Rosberg: cool, calm, collected
    Alonso: the real deal
    Raikkonen: iceman will cometh
    Vettel: going gets tough
    Ricciardo: thunder down under
    Massa: he hit me
    Bottas: one to watch
    Hulkenberg: champion in making
    Vergne: on borrowed time
    Button: smooth as silk
    Magnussen: father like son
    Grosjean: needs new wheels
    Maldonado: crash team racing
    Kobayashi: the asian sensation

  64. Andy says:

    Hamilton: Fast diamond geezer
    Rosberg: Better than expected
    Vettel: No more finger!
    Ricciardo: Who’d have thought?!
    Alonso: Build better car!!!!!
    Kimi: Stuck in slowmo
    Bottas: The next Hakkinen ?
    Massa: I like dodgems
    Button: Better balance please!
    Magnussen: Must beat button.
    Hulkenberg: Big teams: Hellllooooooo!!!!!!!!
    Pérez: Reached his limit.
    Maldonado: Curious incident magnet
    Grosjean: Shame about car
    Bianchi: Helium voiced quickster
    Chilton: Just don’t know
    Kobayashi: Must be disappointed.
    Ericson: Good Hungary spin
    Sutil: What’s happening team!
    Gutierrez: Worse than Perez

  65. Lord Horn says:

    KIMI – Where’s my ice-cream?

    JB – Where’s my grip?

    ALO – Where’s my championship?

    MASSA – Huh? What? What?

    MAL – Incoming! Take Cover!

    NICO ROSBERG – Heads and Shoulders

  66. Tom V says:

    HAM – Heart on sleeve
    ROS – Who had guessed?

    ALO – Tweaking Ferrari’s Ear
    RAI – I Miss Rallying

    VET – Index Finger Broken
    RIC – Ozzie Rules Mate

    MAS – Savour Those Seconds
    BOT – Stolen Kimi’s Ice

    HUL – Seriously, Top Teams?
    PER – Up Down Down

    GRO – How Good Really?
    MAL – Boom Town Rat

    MAG – Looked So Good
    BUT – Balance: Tricky Thing

    VER – Out With Whimper
    KVY – Marko System Works!?

    SUT – Mind That Glass!
    GUT – Er, Next Please

    BIA – Lucky With Points?
    CHI – Carries Red Lantern

    KOB – Wasted At Caterham
    ERI – Fastest Swede? Impossible!

    BONUS:
    Bernie Says: Paying Always Pays

    1. aveli says:

      very good

      1. Tom V says:

        Thanks!

    2. albert says:

      indeed ! but ricciardo should read – ozzie mate rules

      1. Tom V says:

        Albert: Also Very Good!

  67. Andrew C says:

    HAM – Hard As Marshmallow
    ROS – Relentless Ontrack Success
    RIC- Racers Imminent Champion
    VET – Very Enthusiastic Talent
    ALO – Another Level Outstanding
    RAI – Retirement Always Implied
    BOT – Best On Track
    MAS – Mistakes Always Severe
    HUL – Heavy Under Load
    PER – Pretty Effective Racer
    BUT – Blames Useless Tyres
    MAG – Might Actually Graduate
    KVY – Key Verifying Youth
    VER – Vrooms Every Redbull
    SUT – Strangely Underrated Talent
    GUT – Great Utilizing Tyres
    GRO – Good Racing Occasionally
    MAL – Made Another Lunge
    BIA – Brings Italian Ability
    CHI – Cash Has Influence
    KOB – Karaoke Optional Business
    ERI – Effective Racing Individual

    1. ferggsa says:

      I think you should get double points from James

    2. Alex W says:

      very clever.

    3. Sasidharan says:

      Very good acronym expansions

  68. Kim jong says:

    Alonso. : Tries maximum out of poor car
    Vettel. : Was he champion? He will miss weber a lot
    Recardo. : Hier comes new star
    Hamilton. : Fast but unpredictable

  69. Stephen Taylor says:

    Alonso The undeterred warrior
    Vettel – Champion that struggles
    Hamilton – passion speed skill
    Maldonado Demolition Derby Man
    Rosberg – Tops the Class
    Bianchi Ferraris bright future
    Ricciardo A smiling assassin
    Bottas Potential world champion
    Hulkenberg talented and consistent
    Gutierrez , Chilton and Ericsson useless pay driver
    Sutil Experienced but slow
    Kobayashi a Japanese hero
    Raikkonen He’ll be back
    Massa Liberated from Ferrari
    Kyvat Russia’s new hope
    Magnussen Experience will mature
    Perez Fast but rash
    Button Doing John proud
    Vergne One last chance
    Grosjean A disgruntled Frenchman

  70. RichB says:

    FA – run Alonso coming
    KR – Ferrari don’t repeat

    LH -Where is Nico
    NR – Where is Lewis

    NH – Not too heavy

    JB – Car not me

    PM – Oops my bad (referring to his decision to leave Williams too)

    1. RichB says:

      can I change FA – Fuse lit run

  71. FerrariFan says:

    HAM – He’s not German
    – Dumb mind games
    – Fast and sulky

    ROS – We are friends
    – I am German

    RIC – Tough luck mate
    – The grinning assassin

    VET – The finger boy
    – Exhaust blown champion

    ALO – Mind games master
    – Red bull fighter
    – Want another car

    RAI – leave me alone
    – Give me ice
    – Where’s the vodka

    MAS – Faster than you

    BUT – No grip man
    – Double diffuser champion

  72. Peter Wells says:

    LH- too much Bling
    NR- Slow and Steady
    FA- Simply the best
    KR- Fun Fins Finished
    SV-Wants Mark back
    DR- Just too fast
    FM- Worlds upside down
    JB-Baby Smurf

  73. Senninhos says:

    01 Nico Rosberg Determined, Focused, Professional
    02 Lewis Hamilton Gifted but Flawed
    03 Daniel Ricciardo Grinning, relaxed, easy
    04 Fernando Alonso Complete, Focused, Determined
    05 Valtteri Bottas Calm, Collected, Future
    06 Sebastian Vettel Gifted, Professional, Saturated
    07 Nico Hulkenberg Talented, Complete, Underrated
    08 Jenson Button Fair, Fast, Rain
    09 Felipe Massa Mercurial, Emotional, Loyal
    10 Kevin Magnussen Coming good fast
    11 Sergio Perez Enigma, overrated, underrated
    12 Kimi Räikkönen Calm, Cool, Confused
    13 Jean-Eric Vergne Intelligent, Underrated, Unlucky
    14 Romain Grosjean Talented, Intelligent, Fortunate
    15 Daniil Kvyat Revelation, Future, Mature
    16 Jules Bianchi Fast poster boy
    17 Adrian Sutil Past his time
    18 Marcus Ericsson Leaves no impression
    19 Pastor Maldonado Journeyman, Risky, Emotional
    20 Esteban Gutierrez Sponsorship speaks loudest
    21 Max Chilton Blonde, Loaded, Lacking
    22 Kamui Kobayashi Samurai warrior passion

  74. PK says:

    Kobayashi: Complains, complaints, complacent
    Ericsson: Who is Marcus?

    Sutil: Still seems angry
    Gutierrez: Remains largely unproven

    Bianchi: Punching above weight
    Max Chilton: Max Loves Max

    Vergne: Who’s that lady?
    Kiviat: Not like Petrov

    Maldonado: Eating them apples
    Grosjean: Such bad luck

    Perez: Hot and Cold
    Hulkenberg: Predictably consistent. Fair.

    Massa: Good development driver
    Bottas: Future Race WInner

    Button: Mostly just reliable
    Magnussen: Shows some promise

    Alonso: Determined. Fights Regardless.
    Raikkonen: No $&*(s given

    Ricciardo: Much wow. Smiles.
    Vettel: Struggling with change

    Hamilton: Fast. Fiery. Troubled.
    Rosberg: Thinking. Measured. Grounded.

  75. Zach Spargo says:

    Lewis Hamilton = Fire extinguisher please?
    Nico Rosberg = Chicane? What chicane?
    Sebastian Vettel = Prefer other Australian.
    Daniel Ricciardo = Bruce the shark (Finding Nemo)
    Fernando Alonso = Teammate? Not Lewis.
    Kimi Raikkonen = Wasn’t drinking officer.
    Jenson Button = Better at triathlons.
    Kevin Magnusson = Ron’s new favourite.
    Felipe Massa = Never my fault?
    Valtteri Bottas = Fast but dull.
    Nico Hulkenberg = Best in Brazil.
    Sergio Perez = Ron’s least favourite.
    Adrian Sutil = Me? Aggressive? No.
    Esteban Gutierrez = Hanging by thread.
    John Eric Verne = 2013 blown chance?
    Daniil Kvyat = Focussed little Russian.
    Roman Grosjean = No Prost yet.
    Pastor Maldonado = Won once, honest!
    Jules Bianchi = Faster than Max.
    Max Chilton = I won! No.
    Kamui Kobayashi = Where’s the brakes?
    Marcus Ericsson = Grandma is faster.

    F1 2014 = Pretty damn good!

  76. Brent says:

    Kob- deserves Japanese sponsor!
    Chi-Sugar Daddy speed.
    Gut-quicker or lighter?
    Mal- not an investment!
    Eri- nothing to notice.
    Sut- clear the seat.
    Bia- a future possibility?
    Kvy- I was wrong!
    Gro- jury’s still out.
    Ver- just not there.
    Rai- not adaptable enough.
    Per- hot and cold.
    Mag- so far, yawn.
    Mas- “It wasn’t me”
    But- steady as always.
    Hul- solid F1 racer.
    Vet- we all wonder?
    Alo- THE complete package.!
    Ric- The real deal.
    Ham- Yes, he’s fast…
    Ros- Doing the job.

  77. Mitchel says:

    ALO – Wooden Sword Samurai
    RAIK – Ice Cream Blues
    ROS – Mister Consistent GerFin (or Monaco? No Mistake)
    HAM – Hard Luck MercMan (or Hard Assed MercMan)
    MAS – Luck? No Luck!
    BOT – Vodka Fin Tastic
    VET – Finger Gone Awol
    RIC – Talent Like Smile
    SUT – Not Hundred Percent
    GUI – Stopped By Security
    MAG – No Smoking Dane
    BUT – Proved Ron Wrong
    GRO – French Shrug Surely
    MAL – Won A Race?!
    HULK – Rated Heavy Weighted
    PER -Ron Lost Plot
    VER – Outscored RIC Remember?
    KVY – Scrap Heap Academby
    KOB – Crowd Funded Hero
    ERI -Swede With Wallet
    BIA – Pack For Italy
    CHI – Dads Big Bucks

  78. MaxRPM says:

    Acronym plus three word assessment

    RIC: HOT Hard On Teammate
    VET: WEB Was Eventually Beaten
    HAM: ACE A Champion Englishman
    ALO: GOD Greatest Oviedo Driver

  79. Robert says:

    SV: Wants Kate back
    DR: Wizard from Oz
    MC: Not too bad…
    JB: Jewels for Jules?
    NR: Clinging to lead
    LH: Fast but abusive
    KR: Losses need cutting
    FA: Best on grid
    RG: Fairly frustrated Frenchman
    PM: One man crash
    ME: Who is he?
    KK: Needs to score
    SP: Learned at McLaren
    NH: The OTHER Nico
    FM: Flashes of old
    VB: The kid excels
    KM: Not there yet
    JB: Still beats teammate
    EG: Pays to breakdown
    AS: Needs RAC card
    JEV: Proving the selection
    DV: Secret Russian, nyet!

  80. Michael Powell says:

    Hamilton – Seat of the pants
    Rosberg – Sense over sensitivity
    Vettel – Lets rewind to 2013
    Ricciardo – aha, did, I win?
    Alonso – Outstanding Dinner Guest
    Raikkonen – Brilliant, Fun, Floundering
    Bottas – yes, could be
    Massa – 2008 Champ Rewarded
    Hulkenberg – A Credible Hulk
    Perez – DeResta IsFaster ThanYou
    Button – Retire, in, 2010
    Magnussen – Faster than car
    Vergne – Too late already
    Kvyat – Where, why, who?
    Grosjean – Charming, Stoic, Stuck in lotus position
    Maldonado – Fastest banker around
    Bianchi – Best, Of, Rest
    Chilton – Running, Slowly, Last
    Sutil – last chance saloon
    Gutierrez – no, never, no more
    Kobayashi – sadly, failed again
    Ericsson – why choose me?

  81. sami says:

    Alonso – horribly overrated driver

  82. Shri says:

    Lewis – Desperately need luck
    Alonso – Better car please
    Daneil – Quick and likable
    Hulk – Awaiting top-team call
    Kvyat – He is impressive
    Kimi – time to perform
    Pastor – Crash Crash Crash

  83. AlexD says:

    Kimi: Leave me alone!
    Ricciardo: The flying honey badger
    Hamilton: Not slowing for Nico

  84. PxB says:

    HAM – He’s on fire
    RAI – Ice Cream Man
    ALO – Bye bye Ferrari
    RIC – Everyone’s new favourite

    VET – Bye bye Finger
    or: Dan’s smile’s faster
    or: What’s broken now?
    or just: Faster than Webber

    1. PxB says:

      RIC: Move Over Kylie

  85. Harvey says:

    LH Wah Wah Club
    SV Eyes of Steel
    FA Smooth as Silk
    VB Phenomenal Finn
    PM Chitty Bang Bang
    DR Miles of Smiles

  86. Tom says:

    Hamilton: “It’s hammer time!”
    Ricciardo: The grinning assassin
    Bottas: New Flying Finn
    Vettel: How times change!
    Massa: “Not my fault…”
    Button: Has no grip
    Grosjean: Off to McLaren
    Kvyat: Cool beyond years
    Bianchi: Off to Ferrari
    Maldonado: “I crash” “Oh…”

  87. Rexie says:

    Nico ……………..Don’t forget 1966
    Lewis …………….Fragile fast racer
    Daniel…………….Makes me grin
    Fernando………..Fast, poor machinery
    Valtteri……………Stay at Williams?
    Seb………………..Poor without car
    Nico H…………….Excellent with potential
    Jenson……………Smooth but Boring
    Felipe M………….Always a prang
    Kevin………………No Lewis replacement
    Sergio……………..Just another Massa
    Kimi………………..Supermarket trolleys beckon
    Jean Eric………….Who? Oh him!
    Romain…………….Middle order man
    Danill……………….The next Ricciardo
    Jules……………….Better than Marussia
    Adrian……………..Don’t hit me!
    Marcus…………….In another race
    Pastor………………Just another Massa!
    Esteban…………….Needs better Sauber
    Max…………………Still in GP2
    Kamui………………Needs paper bag!

  88. Jonathan Kelk says:

    Ham: Due some luck
    Ros: Solid each time
    Vet: Loves overtaking Alonso
    Ric: Beating world champion
    Alo: You shalln’t pass!!
    Kimi: Hates new cars
    Bot: Be77er every race
    Mas: Someone else’s fault
    But: Never has grip
    Mag: Faster than daddy
    Hulk: Good, but tall
    Perez: Better without McLaren
    JEV: Last chance saloon
    Kvy: Youngest points scorer
    Sut: Stru99ling with Sauber
    Gut: “What was that?”
    Gro: No longer crashing
    Mal: Crash, bang, wallop
    Kob: Can’t overtake now
    Eri: Under the radar
    Bianchi: Ferrari’s next champion
    Chilton: Always comes last

  89. Rosberg: Journyman Got Lucky
    Riciardo: The Real Deal
    Vettel: Matches His Car
    Hamilton: Walks Under Ladders
    Alonso: Flatters His Ferrari
    Rikkinan: Hard to Spell
    Massa: Never My Fault
    Bottas: Better then Kimi
    Maldanado: Too Much Money
    Button: Underestimated Racing Driver
    Magnusson: Promising Start Waning
    Kyvyat: Better Every Race
    Verne: Imminent Ex Bull
    Kobasahi: Needs Decent Car
    Chilton: Making Up Numbers

    Forgotten rest of drivers!

  90. Aelfwald says:

    FA – Dolmio Pasta Bloke
    KR – Anthony Robbins wannabe
    FM – It wasn’t me
    VB – starting to shine
    RG – checking his options
    PM – Crash Test Dummy
    LH – Tin hatter magnet
    NR – Little bit bland
    SV – unfairly criticised champ
    DR – Smiley Happy Person
    JB – Very pretty girlfriend
    KM – clone of father
    EG – Nice but slow
    AS – Time to retire
    NH – Due a break
    SP – easy on tyres
    JEV – facing the axe
    DK – Sam the eagle
    JBi – makes girls giddy
    MC – thank you Daddy

    1. Aelfwald says:

      RG – Showing some leg
      KK – Trapped by stereotype
      ME – Under my radar

    2. Wade Parmino says:

      One of those puppets on the Dolmio Sauce ad does look uncannily like Fernando Alonso. :)

  91. Saeed says:

    Not enough showmanship!

  92. TheElf says:

    KR- Last Next Champ
    FA- Spygate, Crashgate,Mitigate
    LH- Real Ricky Bobby
    NR- Desperately Seeking Lewis
    SV- Desperately Seeking Susan
    DR- “Cause I’m Happy..”
    FM- Always His Fault
    JB- Desperately Seeking Lewis
    KM-Desperately Seeking Kimi
    VB- Next Next Champ
    NH- Where To Next
    SP- Tell-Mexico Slim
    RG- “Im Not Faster”
    PM- Pin Ball Wizard
    JEV- One More Please
    DK – 2017 World Champion
    EG- Young Old Soul
    AS- Desperately Seeking Lewis
    JUB- 2016 World Champion
    MC- Whoh Ya saay
    ME- Wheres My Volvo
    KK- Take Me Back

    BE- My S.. Smells
    CW-Come Here Boys
    NL- Ferrari Piece Of
    TW-Not My Place
    MM-Heaven Help Me
    CH- Red Bull Rules
    AN-Wheres That Fan

  93. nick slater says:

    Alonso – never gives up

    Button – not good enough

  94. Nickh says:

    Lewis- fastest on grid
    Nico- “where’s Lewis faster?”
    Fernando – I love Singapore
    Kimi – Needs Allison car
    Vettel – Hates new regs
    Dan – I’m honey badger :)
    Bottas – Williams shining Knight
    Massa – Can’t stop crashing
    Button – I’m too slow
    Mag- Quicker than button
    Hulk- where’s my podium
    Perez- I have several
    Vergne – Who is Kyvat
    Kyvat – I’m beating Vergne
    Maldo – I have money
    Grosj – Where’s Kimi + Allison
    Bianchi – when Alonso leaving
    Chilton – I finish last
    Koba – This car sucks
    Ericsson – nothing to report

  95. Ian N says:

    Lewis: tide is turning
    Nico R: hold on tight
    Sebastian: bring back v8
    Daniel: new bull rising
    Fernando: time to move
    Kimi: leave me alone
    Valtteri: new flying finn
    Felipe: keep your cool
    Jenson: one more season
    Kevin: rollercoaster rookie year
    Nico H: how much longer
    Sergio: return to form
    Romain: save me eric
    Pastor: hindsight is wonderful
    Adrian: dtm up next
    Esteban: points are paramount
    Jules: sign him up
    Max: nearly as quick
    Kamui: final f1 season
    Marcus: what possibly next
    Jean-Eric: last chance saloon
    Daniil: future red bull

  96. Simmo says:

    Maldonado – Not very good.

    1. Simmo says:

      Gutierrez – What was that?

  97. Kram gp says:

    Alonso: talented taxi driver
    Sorry that’s all I’ve got so far. I will have have a think about the other 21 drivers.

  98. Kram gp says:

    Ham: walked under ladder
    Ros: put ladder there

  99. Vivek says:

    Hamilton – ‘Not hungry enough’
    Rosberg – ‘I’m 100% German’
    Ricciardo – ‘Can’t stop smiling’
    Vettel – ‘Mark, come back’
    Alonso – ‘One man team’
    Raikkonen – ‘My fronts locked’
    Bottas – ‘Cool as cucumber’
    Massa – ‘Not my fault’
    Hulkenberg – ‘One fine day’
    Perez – ‘Podium or nothing’
    Button – ‘Poor car grip’
    Magnussen – ‘It’s testing time’
    Kvyat – ‘I’m no wimp’
    Vergne – ‘Woe is me’
    Grosjean – ‘Engine turned off’
    Maldonado – ‘Crash! Boom! Bang!’
    Bianchi – ‘Target Q2 achieved’
    Chilton – ‘Yay double points’
    Sutil – ‘Maybe next time’
    Gutierrez – ‘Welcome Mexico 2015′
    Kobayashi – ‘Can’t push enough’
    Ericsson – ‘GP2 was better’

    1. Vivek says:

      On a lighter note, dedicated to Maldonado – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aoXrd3_3fYI

      A great song though! :)

  100. Matt says:

    Ricciardo. Who would’ve thought.

  101. Paa says:

    HAM – Clear Weekend Wanted
    ROS – Has More Points
    SEB – Loosing The Finger
    RIC – Happiest Driver Ever
    ALO – Deserves One More
    RAI – End Of Story?
    HUL – Poor Men’s Alonso

  102. kenneth chapman says:

    just a few which come to mind,

    JB still think pink

    SV not another aussie….alternate….mark webber’s revenge

    DR honey badgers bite….alternate…. winners are grinners

    FM he crashed me

    KR leave me alone

    FA muchas gracias kimi….alternate… muchas gracias amigo

    PM ooops, sorry chaps

    VB absolutely finn-tastic

    JEV….more french dressing

    DK…. da da da

    LH….catch me first

    NR….push to pass

    a small contribution ……….so far

  103. Rob Ducker says:

    Sebastian Vettel -where is Susie?
    Lewis Hamilton – Speed to burn
    Nico Rosberg – Bride or Bridesmaid?
    Fernando Alonso – The hoarse whisperer
    Daniel Ricciardo – The smiling assassin
    Valtteri Bottas – Fast and Fluent
    Nico Hülkenberg – Weighing up offers
    Felipe Massa – Upside Down again
    Jenson Button – must try harder
    Romain Grosjean – “Allo? Eric please”
    Kimi Räikkönen – I collect walnuts.
    Esteban Gutiérrez – Telmex for ever!
    Jean-Éric Vergne – Time is up
    Daniil Kyvat -Dr’s gifted protege
    Sergio Pérez – He hit me!
    Pastor Maldonado – I hit him!
    Adrian Sutil – glass half empty
    Kevin Magnussen The laboratory reaction
    Jules Bianchi – Sauber next year?
    Max Chilton – Tortoise Vs Hare
    Kamui Kobayashi – who needs brakes?
    Marcus Erikson – So far zip

  104. Glasto says:

    Dan Ricciardo – The Real Deal

  105. Matt says:

    Lewis- Wow Nico’s fast
    Nico – Surprisingly going well
    Seb – Webber’s xmas card?
    Dan – smiles while sleeping
    Fernando- always produces results
    Kimi: wheres my icecream?
    Valtteri: Future champ soon
    Felipe: Better than Pastor
    Jenson: Last chance dig
    Kevin: Time will tell
    Nico H: Deserves better seat
    Sergio: Do or die
    Romain: McLaren’s my favourite
    Pastor: OH NOT AGAIN
    Adrian: Still hates Lewis
    Esteban: waxes his brow
    Jules: Ferrari’s future man
    Max: Always behind Jules
    Kamui: sankyou last season
    Marcus: whos this guy?
    Jean-Eric: 8 races left
    Daniil: Gives you wings!

  106. Nuno says:

    ROS. di Caprio younger brother
    HAM. Cool dog owner
    RIC. Makes dentist proud
    VET. Unreliable helmet chooser
    RAI. I’m so cool
    ALO. Team mate nightmare
    MAS. First corner beware
    BOT. Podium suits me
    PER. I’m el hombre
    HUL. Wish was shorter
    MAG. Love my car
    BUT. Watch my manners
    VER. Makes Prost proud
    KYV. Spots all around
    GRO. Saving my talent
    MAL. Should I stay?
    BIA. Want my Ferrari
    CHI. Hey, I’m here!
    GUT. Brave new world
    SUT. Wheel of fortune
    ERI. Never give up
    KOB. Fundraiser benchmark case

  107. Jason says:

    Well, figured I’d have a stab, mainly for giggles. Have tried for wit, others will judge if I succeeded.

    NR – No Backup Dancer
    LH – A Moving Target
    DR – The Smiling Assassin
    FA – Sweet F.A.
    VB – To the Finnish
    SV – No Number Five
    NH – Hulk Not Smashed
    JeB – Button, Jenson Button
    FM – Wow, lap two!
    KM – Woking on Sunshine
    SP – Force Safety Car
    KR – ahead of Lotus
    JEV – Why not me?
    DK – Vodka Red Bull
    RG – Om mani padme
    JuB- Almost a Ferrari
    AS – doesn’t like nightclubs
    ME – Ok, I’ll push
    PM – Tactile driving style
    EG – 21 and 23
    MC – slowly but surely
    KK – close to Sauber

  108. Damian says:

    ROS: Perfect Aryan Child
    HAM: Unlucky But #Blessed
    RIC: Smily Ozzy Winner
    VET: Mighty Have Fallen
    ALO: Respect Circuit Limits!
    RAI: Looking Rather Average
    BUT: Fairly Average Ginger
    MAG: Fairly Average Nepotism
    BOT: Future World Champion
    MAS: Making Up Numbers
    HUL: Needs Top Drive
    PER: McLaren Were Right
    SUT: Always Been Anonymous
    GUT: How Much Longer?
    GRO: Doesn’t Crash Anymore
    MAL: Crash Test Dummy
    VER: Really Hates Riccardo
    KYV: Car Drive You!
    BIA: Hopes Raikkonen Retires
    CHI: Daddy Has Money
    KOB: Fans Paid Me
    ERI: Driving Around Pointlessly

    MSC: We Miss You

  109. Roshan says:

    RIC: honey badger approaches
    VET: look out Seb
    ALO: horse tamer
    RAI: handing reins over
    ROS: we’re still friends
    HAM: not friends anymore
    MAS: valtteri is faster
    BOT: new flying Finn
    BUT: next year better
    MAG: better than Dad
    HUL: better car when?
    PER:
    VER:beat Ricciardo 2012
    KVY: VET leaves when?
    GRO:waiting on Eric
    MAL: I crash
    SUT: unexciting as always
    GUT: nothing to see here
    CHI: not slowest anymore
    BIA: faster than Kimi
    KOB: worst car ever
    ERI: slowest driver 2014

    1. Roshan says:

      PER: fast but inconsistent

  110. Scuderia McLaren says:

    Top 6 Teams:

    ROS: “Not, that, innocent…” (Britney Spears song)
    HAM: THIS… ISN’T… HAPPENING!!!

    RIC: Colgate’s smiling assassin
    VET: Aussies give nightmares!

    ALO: Help! I’m waaaastingggg!
    RAI: Help! I’m meeeeltingggg!

    BOT: “Everything is awesome…” (Lego Song)
    MAS: “Felipe, Valteri is…”

    HUL: ANYONE see this?!
    PER: What? Be nicer?

    BUT: There’s no GRIP!
    MAG: Ron, what’s grip?

  111. aveli says:

    has anyone seen a youtube video of button giving jake humphrey a driving lesson?

  112. Shane Pinnell says:

    ALO – Engineers preventing greatness
    RAI – Unadaptibility preventing rivalry
    KOB – Pace preventing entertainment
    RIC – Told you so
    VET – Legacy in question
    ROS – fast and cerebral
    HAM – faster but flawed
    BUT – sponsorships are awesome

  113. jake says:

    LH Slowdown Nico’s faster
    NR let me past

  114. Pete S. says:

    VET-Balls.in.pool
    RIC-Who.da.thunk
    ALO-Where.in.2015
    RAI-Must.rally.again
    BUT-Time.to.retire
    HAM-Time.is.now
    ROS-Much.too.nice
    MAS-BOT.faster.too
    MAL-W.T.F

  115. AndyRat says:

    Decided to make mine a bit musical…

    NR – Best of You, The Foo Fighters
    LH – Keep the Faith, Bon Jovi
    SV – Times Like These, The Foo Fighters
    DR – Lust for Life, Iggy Pop
    KR – Dazed and Confused, Led Zeppelin
    FA – Simply the Best, Tina Turner
    FM – I Will Follow, U2
    VB – Learning to Fly, Tom Petty
    SP – Take Me Out, Franz Ferdinand
    NH – Little by Little, Oasis
    KM – Now I’m Here, Queen
    JeB – Stand By Me, Ben E. King
    JEV – Semi-Charmed Life, Third Eye Blind
    DK – New Sensation, INXS
    RG – Paint It Black, The Rolling Stones
    PM – Doom & Gloom, The Rolling Stones
    MC – The Invisible Man, Queen
    JuB – Little Lion Man, Mumford & Sons
    EG – All Shook Up, Elvis
    AS – Under Pressure, Queen
    ME – Going Nowhere, Therapy
    KK – Let’s Go Crazy, Prince

    Oh, and a couple of extras…

    James Hunt – Cigarettes & Alcohol, Oasis
    Suzie Wolf – She’s Not There, The Zombies
    and lastly, given the number of podiums he stood on,
    Michael Schumacher – Champagne Supernova, Oasis.

    Feel free to add you own…

    1. Sergio says:

      Nice one!

    2. Meg says:

      LH “Don’t touch this”, Hammertime

    3. Karen says:

      Very good and original

    4. PxB says:

      FM – It Wasn’t Me, Shaggy

    5. Sasidharan says:

      Good one!

  116. Matthew Cheshire says:

    Hamilton – Fast, often furious
    Rosberg – Homework beats Hamilton
    Ricciardo – Very fast learner
    Vettel – Time will tell
    Alonso – Fangio in Fiat
    Raikonnen – the glacier
    Bottas – forward facing fin
    Massa – always becomes bridesmaid
    Button – last chance Honda
    Magnussen – turns up
    Grosgean – fortune yo yo
    Maldonardo – bent penny
    Bianchi – Red Ricciardo
    Chilton – consistently consistent, constantly
    Perez – Mexican midfielder
    Vergne – schools out soon
    Kvyat – snapping at heels
    Sutil- fading to grey
    Kobyashi – camouflaged in green

    Allen – talker after Walker

    1. FLEX_BANKAI says:

      Rosberg – Homework beats Hamilton loool!!!

  117. OsellaMan says:

    HAM – Defeat From Victory
    ROS – Too Many Homes
    RIC – Come On Aussie
    VET – “Dan Is Faster” or “Move Over Seb”
    ALO – Always Next Year
    RAI – Beginning To Thaw
    BOT – Ice Ice Baby
    MAS – Why Always Me?
    HUL – Has He B.O.?
    PER – Not So Speedy
    BUT – Time To Deliver
    MAG – Like Father Not
    KVY – Have Confidence In
    VER – Two Years Vacation
    GRO – Honeymoon Is Over
    MAL – Two Steps Back
    SUT – Just Like Pastor
    GUT – Basque In Shadow
    BIA – Ferrari’s White Knight
    CHI – Making Up Numbers
    KOB – Failed Public Listing
    ERI – Not Really Sonny

  118. agm says:

    Dan Ricciardo – Reason to smile

  119. Tim says:

    Raikkonen: Frozen Finnish Fire
    Alonso: Maximising Limping Horses
    Ricciardo: Fast Feisty Smile
    Vettel: Fragile Frustrated Frown
    Hamilton: Speed with attitude
    Rosberg:Flying Finnish German

  120. Whitehorse says:

    HAM – Like watching Mansell
    ROS – Full of himself
    VET – What goes around
    RIC – Still not convinced
    MAS – Defeat from victory
    RAI – Something not right
    BUT – like watching Damon
    ALO – Proper racing driver
    MAL – Don’t look first
    BOT – Hope after Alonso
    HUL – Fuss about nothing
    PER – Entertain in midfield
    CHI – last is first
    GRO – Missing from action

  121. Régis says:

    Alonso. Ground Hog Day

  122. Oluseunie says:

    HAM: f1 box office
    ROS: credit where due
    VET: quadruple world champ?
    ALO: amazing but scheming
    RIC: breath fresh air
    MAS: can’t catch break
    BOT: another flying fin
    MAG: not bad rook
    BUT: got no grip
    ERI: who’s he again?
    KOB: needs better car

  123. Paddyism says:

    ROS: Cunning, Quick, Winning.
    HAM: Fast, Unreliable, Lucky.
    VET: Shocked, Frustrated, Twitchy.
    RIC: Smart, Quick, Perfect.
    ALO: Hungry, Driven, Unlucky.
    RAK: Slow, Stubborn, Unproductive.
    BUT: Missing his Dad.
    MAG: Young, Unproven, Unlikely.
    MAS.: Car, Crashes, Second.
    BOT: Racy, Frustrating, Solid.
    MAL: Lotus, Dangerous, Lost.
    GRO: Lotus, Improved, Going.
    VER: Sad, Good, Gone.
    KYT: Fast, Young, Maybe.
    KOB: Car, Cash, Goodbye.
    VAN: Who, Slow, No.
    BIA: Super, Ferrari, Waiting.
    CHI: Rich, Reliable, Boring.
    SUT: Going, Going, Gone.
    GUT: Slow, Sauber, Slumber.

  124. Urko says:

    All drivers: Too polite & boring!

  125. Dave Beasant says:

    HAM – Brings the show
    ROS – Has it easy
    RIC – Keeping everyone honest
    VET – Loves all Australians!
    ALO – politics his game
    RAI – Hand me downs
    BOT – doing it right
    MAS – Needs to reflect
    HUL – Working on shrinking
    PER – On way out
    BUT – Lost his spark
    MAG – Trying his best
    KVY – Getting himself noticed
    VER – Could have been
    SUT – Filling the grid
    GUT – Not a star
    GRO – Needs a break
    MAL – Loves the hospitality
    BIA – Where’s my seat?
    CHI – just loves driving
    KOB – Value for money
    ERI – On the grid

  126. Mike says:

    VET – Come back Mark!

  127. Slick says:

    Rosberg – Hamilton’s Sunday lunch
    Vettel – Vorsprung durch Adrian
    Hamilton – Come on Pansy
    Ricciardo – Oi, oi, oi
    Alonso – Forza al canute
    Button – Get a grip
    Raikonnen – Raikonnen nicht

  128. Sujith says:

    Fernando Alonso : Never give up
    Kimi Raikkonen : Cool Fast Unhappy
    Nico rosberg : Cool Quick Fearless
    Lewis Hamilton : Natural Quick Flustered
    Daniel Ricciardo: Nice Talented Fearless
    Valtteri Bottas: Nice Cool Talented

  129. Sergio says:

    ROS – Not German leader
    HAM – Yes I Can
    VET – Finger in Pain
    RIC – slogan it’s alive!
    ALO – Love my Bicycle
    RAI – Turning to Acidman
    MAG – Magnussen Vs Mignussen
    BUT – The preferred son-in-law
    HUL – Everything under kontrol
    PER – Tough Speedy Gonzalez
    GRO – RIC French Version
    MAL – Nice Guy Evil
    SUT – No so subtle (See what Sutil means in Spanish)
    GUT – I expected more
    VER – The invisible garçon
    KVY – Hope’s Mother Russia
    MAS – Montoya wait meee!
    BOT – Like my logo?
    BIA – The wasted joker
    CHI – Slow but Safe
    KOB – Fast but unsafe
    ERI – No need Helmet

  130. Vipin says:

    Fernando Alonso – The Consistent Driver!

  131. Niall Quinn says:

    Kimi Raikonnen – OK. Fine. Whatever.

  132. Grant says:

    Lewis – Face of F1
    Nico – Boring Robotic Pretender
    Alo – Requires Favouritistic Treatment
    Vet – Need Perfect Car

  133. jaakko says:

    Räikkönen: a feelerless ant
    Bottas: license to overtake

  134. David Young says:

    Kimi: leave me alone

  135. Ray C Boy says:

    The entire 2014 grid

    Lift and coast.

  136. Mark says:

    Hamilton Still I Rise

  137. Grayzee says:

    TOP 5 teams – the season so far………
    HAM-Mercedes Power Rules
    ROS-I LOVE Mercedes
    RIC-Faster than Vettel
    VET-this Aussie’s quicker
    ALO-not another Tank!
    RAI-barrier? what barrier?
    MAS-Mercedes Power Rules!
    BOT-I love Mercedes
    BUT-Need more Grip!
    MAG-Don’t need Grip

  138. ferggsa says:

    Maldonado: crash test dummy

  139. Chris_p says:

    VET: I’ll be back.

  140. Ivo Stanoev says:

    Fernando ALONSO : Beat Schumacher, twice!

  141. Rayhan Chouglay says:

    Nico Rosberg- The underestimated German
    Lewis Hamilton- Fast,fast,fast
    Daniel Ricciardo-The smiling assassin
    Sebastien Vettel-lucky with equipment
    Fernando Alonso-Best all round
    Kimi Raikkonen- ever sensistive iceman
    Jenson Button-always consistently there
    Kevin Magnussen-fast inconsistent dane
    Felipe Massa-unlucky first lap
    Valteri Bottas- New fastest finn
    Jean Eric Vergne-not proving himself
    Danyl Kyvat- young confident russian
    Pastor Maldonado-money not talent
    Romain Grosjean-unfortunate career turn
    Nico Hulkenberg-needs top team
    Sergio Perez-at his level
    Esteban Guttierez-Unproven inexoerienced mexican
    Adrian Sutil-time now up
    Marcus Erriccson-not much seen
    Kamui Kobayashi-deserves better car
    Jules Bianchi- future ferrari master
    Max Chilton-slighty overrated Brit

  142. Bart says:

    I’ve got just two (that refer to most of them) – Grumpy MIllionairs ;)
    Cheers, Bart

  143. Nick says:

    Dan Ricciardo – The Smiling Assassin
    Valterri Bottas – New Flying Finn
    Pastor Maldonado – The F1 Jonah
    Romain Grosjean – Where am I
    Marcus Ericsson – I’m sorry, who?
    Max Chilton – Could be worse
    Jules Bianchi – Watch out Kimi
    Fernando Alonso – It’s Groundhog Day
    Jenson Button – Honda back yet?
    Sebastian Vettal – Im Sorry Mark
    Lewis Hamilton – Broke a Mirror

    and for Kimi – Three too many.

  144. olderguysrule says:

    LH- forget team orders
    NR- the next professor

    FA- always 100 percent
    KR- mr few words

    DR- I just drive
    SV- exhaust blown diffuser

    FM- almost a champ
    VB- a future champ

    JB- where’s the grip
    KM- over his head

    NH- I always deliver
    SP- not my fault

    RG- in wrong car
    PM- I’m coming thru

    JV- his last shot
    DK- wants sebs drive

    JBi- in Ferrari’s future
    MC- drives family car

    AS- needs a break
    EG- another pay driver

    KK- needs fast car
    ME- what’s he done

  145. Wade Parmino says:

    DR: Winners are Grinners.

    SV: No more burnouts.

    KR: Overpaid, overrated, over-it.

    FA: Hold the line.

  146. Sami says:

    Alonso: I’m the greatest
    Kimi: Not Fernando’s car

    Nico: Never gives in
    Lewis: Never gives up

    Seb: Is coming back
    Dan: Not like Webber

    Jenson: Clever, wise, conservative
    Kevin: Next big thing

    JEV: It’s over soon
    Kvyat: Best to come

    Felipe: Never ending story
    Valtteri: Wants to win

    Hulk: Wants top team
    Perez: fearless, impulsive, ruthless

    Grosjean: Better last year
    Pastor: Wants money back

    Sutil: Wants Merc engine
    Gutierrez: No way out

    Kamui: Wants japanese engine
    Ericsson: Is this F1?

    Biachi: My Ferrari subito!
    Max: Still having fun

  147. Mal S says:

    I’ve taken some licence with the idea of a drivers “Character”.

    Nico R. Sean Connery
    Lewis. Ricky Bobby
    Daniel. Jack Nicholson, Joker
    Ferando. The Great Houdini
    Valtteri. Ironman, The Avengers
    Seb. Gollum, lord Rings
    Nico H. Andy DuFresne, Shawshank
    Jenson. George Jetson
    Felipe M. Yoda, Star Wars
    Kevin.
    Sergio. Fez, 70′s Show
    Kimi. Lieutenant Horato Caine
    Jean Eric. Inspector Jacques Clouseau
    Roman. The Phantom, Comic
    Danill. Yuri Gararin
    Jules. Clark Kent, Superman
    Adrian. Leonardo DiCaprio, Superman
    Marcus
    Pastor. Dennis The Menace
    Esteban
    Max. Homer Simpson
    Kamui. The Terminator
    Bernie. Scrooge McDuck
    Charlie. Colonel Wilhelm Klink

    1. Mal S says:

      Adrian. Leonardo DiCaprio, Titanic.

  148. DeDe says:

    Alonso=Maestro of Formula1
    Rosberg=Always a Thinker
    Hamilton=Heart of Racer
    Ricciardo=Next in Line
    All F1 Drivers=Wheels, Thrills, Spills

  149. RichB says:

    VB – Frank told you

  150. Mike says:

    Lewis Hamilton: F1 Circus Maximus
    Nico Rosberg: Britney Spears Circus
    Sebastian Vettel: Finger forms fist
    Daniel Ricciardo: Ear to ear.
    Fernando Alonso: Fifth Is Affinity

  151. RichB says:

    Hulk – talent overcomes weight

  152. matt marvell says:

    Overpaid, underworked, fast.

  153. Richard says:

    Hamilton – Fast but unlucky
    Rosberg – Conscience not relevant
    Ricciardo – Fast smiling Aussie
    Vettel – Quietly smouldering away
    Massa – Off track again
    Bottas – Half chance Finn
    Alonso – Big charging bull
    Raikkonen – Where am I
    Button – Ron’s my mate
    Magnussen – Come on guy’s
    Hulkenburg – I’m too heavy
    Perez – Ouch my car
    Grosjean – What a car
    Maldonado – Oops my car

    OK had enough now!

  154. Craig says:

    Ericcson – didn’t pay enough
    Kobayashi – not paid enough
    Maldonado – can’t pay attention

  155. rogerz says:

    Only 2 needed to cover all drivers.

    Winners are grinners.
    Who came second!

  156. Luis MIguel Rubira says:

    HAM – Two Of Us
    ROS – I Feel Fine
    RIC – You Know What To Do
    VET – I’ll Be Back
    ALO – How Do You Do It
    RAI – No Reply
    BOT – Tomorrow Never Knows
    MAS – Yesterday
    HUL – It Won’t Be Long
    PER – Carry That Weight
    BUT – I’m Only Sleeping
    MAG – Flying
    KVY – Back In The U.S.S.R
    VER – Do You Want To Know A Secret
    SUT –You Know What To Do
    GUT –Get Back
    GRO – Slow Down
    MAL – Bad Boy
    BIA – This Boy
    CHI – Too Much Monkey Business
    KOB – Yellow Submarine
    ERI – The End

  157. Fareed says:

    LEW- This season’s Weber?
    ROS- Stuttgart’s favourite son?
    VET- New Number Two
    RIC- Smiling Aussie Assassin
    ALO- Podium, driving anything
    RAI- Iceman’s last hurrah?
    MAS- Pride of Brazil
    BOT- The Real Deal
    BUT- Dedicated to Dad
    MAG- Better than Dad
    HUL- Better seat, please!
    PER- Checo? Speedy? whatever
    VER- One more chance?
    KYV- It’s pronounced “Kiveeyat”!
    GRO- McLaren next year
    MAL- No defamation allowed
    SUT- The Piano Man
    GUT- Unlucky at Monaco
    BIA- Scuderia in waiting
    CHI- Better than brother
    KOB- Pride of Japan
    ERI- Hmmm still thinking…

  158. BluesPaul says:

    VET f1′s Steve McQueen

    RAI f1′s Kevin Costner

    ALO f1′s Al Pacino

    HAM f1′s Dustin Hofman

    MAS f1′s Danny Devito

    1. Sasidharan says:

      Except VET all others match.

  159. John in SD says:

    GRO I’ll win soon
    MAL Crash test dummy
    ROS Not 2nd best
    HAM Fast perfect lines
    KOB Domo arigato gozaimasu
    ERI The invisible man
    VER Driving for job
    KYV I’m here Helmut
    ALO Get lost Ron
    RAI Leave me alone
    GUT High flying driver
    SUT Past his best
    BUT Changeable conditions champion
    MAG Better than Jan
    CHI Anonymous at best
    BIA Future Ferrari champion
    VET I’ll be back
    RIC We’ll win this
    MAS It’s his fault
    BOT Quicker than Mika
    HUL Please recognize me
    PER I can drive

  160. Christopher Cathles says:

    Appropriate Acronyms…..

    ROS – Races Off Smoothly
    HAM – Hungry And Masterful
    VET – Variable Eccentric Temperament
    RIC – Really Inspirational Chap
    ALO – And Loves Overtaking
    RAI – Races Alonso Intermittantly
    MAG – Masterly And Gifted
    BUT – Balanced Under Tension
    HUL – Height Utter Liability
    PER – Periodically Exceptional Racer
    GRO – Gotta’ Reach Out (F1′s longest neck)
    MAL – My Awful Lotus
    SUT – Sauber Useless Tank
    GUT – Gotta’ Useless Tank
    VER – Visually Exciting Racer
    KVY – Keeps Very Young
    MAS – Mindblowing Acrobatic Skills
    BOT – Battler On Target
    BIA – Brilliance In Abundance
    CHI – Can’t Hurry I-nuff
    KOB – Keep On Battling
    ERI – Erratic Racing Individual
    and…..
    ECC – Every Cent Counts (Bernie)
    WHI – Will Hold Inquiry (Charlie)

    1. jk says:

      This one gets my vote!

    2. FLEX_BANKAI says:

      Mine too!

  161. Bradley says:

    Faster than me.

  162. Pietro says:

    ALO: Always extracts maximum

  163. Aaron James says:

    I’m going to combine the three words of three drivers into one sentence…

    Maldonado, Guiterrez, and Ericsson: “YOU’RE ONLY SUPPOSED TO BLOW THE BL**DY DOORS OFF!”

    As for the others:

    MERCEDES:
    Hamilton: Always on Fire ;)
    Rosberg: Kraftwerk on Wheels

    RED BULL:
    Vettel: Finding No Point (think his celebration heh heh)
    Ricciardo: Smiles are Dangerous

    MCLAREN:
    Button: Speed Zipped Up
    Magnussen: Crumbly Danish Biscuit

    FERRARI:
    ALONSO: Fast Furious Eyebrows
    RAIKKONEN: Father Jack F1 (think Father Ted)

    LOTUS:
    GROSJEAN: World’s Fastest Lawnmower (reference to poor car)
    MALDONADO: See above.

    FORCE INDIA:
    HULKENBERG: The Rhineland Cowboy
    PEREZ: Hulkenbergs Mexican Shadow

    SAUBER:
    SUTIL: Not The Stig
    GUITERREZ: See above.

    TORO ROSSO:
    VERGNE: Not Daniel Ricciardo.
    KYVAT: Most Popular Russian

    WILLIAMS:
    MASSA: Dodgem Champion 2014
    BOTTAS: Heir to Hakkinen

    CATERHAM:
    KOBAYASHI: Why Bother Kamui? (unpaid to drive a lawnmower)
    ERICSSON: See above.

    MARUSSIA:
    BIANCHI: Faster than You
    CHILTON: Not Quite Tom (reference to his brother)

    1. Jd says:

      Kobayashi… why would this dude not just try get a seat in Japan Super Formula. No doubt he’s fast enough and his experience should make him attractive.

      Plus he would get paid rather than PAY to drive around as a back marker getting older, with too many young guns coming through meaning he will probably never get an offer in another F1 team.

  164. Webbo says:

    Daniel Riccardo……The Dentist’s Dream

  165. tyler says:

    ROS:slow but favored
    HAM:Nigel Mansel luck
    VET:driving a cucumber
    RIC:only needs opportunity
    ALO:Ferraris wasted chances
    RAI:only races beasts
    MAG:the best rookie
    SUT:Girlfriend more interesting
    KOB:too long overlooked
    BIA:has illegitimate points

  166. Kenneth M'Boy says:

    Alonso: Senna + Prost = Alonso

    1. kartrace1 says:

      100% agree

  167. Bill says:

    Rosberg – Long Game Player
    Ricciardo – Stealthy Smiling Assassin
    Hamilton – Zoom, Zoom, Ooops
    Perez – Podium or Contact
    Button – Feeling Papa’s Loss
    Hulkenburg – Alwyas a bridesmaid
    Vettel – refreshingly Maturing Champion
    Bottas – Unflinching Future Great
    Massa – Rejuvinated Rubens Lite
    Kobayashi – Clunker Driving Samurai
    Ericsson – Swedish Fish’re Better
    Magnussen – Underachieving Boy Wonder
    Kvyat – Overachieving Boy Wonder
    JEV – Too Soon Forgotten
    Bianchi – Awaiting the Call
    Chilton – Bland like Toast
    Grosjean – Hand Dealt Reeks
    Maldonado – Back Again, Really?
    Raikkonen – Leave Me Alone
    Alonso – Modern Magical Maestro

  168. Bill says:

    Forgot to do Sauber!

    Gutierrez – Improving, But Enough?
    Sutil – “Podium? Pretty Please?”

  169. kartrace1 says:

    Ricardo. Pleasently competitive
    Alonso. Race craft master
    Hamilton. 2x Champion in making
    Nico. German hope
    Vettel. Lost edge
    Kimi. Not for him
    Massa. Outpaced yet again
    Button. Retirement now
    Bottas. Future Champion
    Hulkenberg. Expected better
    Verstappen. Promissing

  170. BobbyT says:

    Alonso: Off to McLaren
    Button: Off to Williams
    Bianchi: Ready for Ferrari?
    Kimi: World Rally Championship…
    Bernie: Time to retire

  171. Simon says:

    Jean-Eric Vergne: Cul-de-sac.

  172. Dave Highway says:

    ROSB – Rewarded for dedication.
    HAMI – Emotional and manipulative.
    VETT – Taking a break.
    RICC – Undaunted by battling.
    ALON – Relentless as usual.
    RAIK – All at sea.
    MASS – Erratic yet quick.
    BOTT – My new favourite!
    HULK – Needs a Ferrari.
    PERE – Rejuvenated and relieved.
    BUTT – Struggled since loss.
    MAGN – Early promise thwarted.
    VERG – Unfortunate with failures.
    KVYA – Flashes of brilliance.
    MALD – Less aggressive now.
    GROS – Hindered by Lotus.
    BIAN – Car speed extractor.
    CHIL – Presentable and unremarkable.
    SUTI – Should be faster.
    GUTI – Too many mistakes.
    KOBA – Where is spectacular?
    ERIC – Most errors winner.

    I took it to mean that 3 words is the exact requirement, no more and no less.

  173. Anthony says:

    Hi James,

    Long-time listener, first-time caller. Thanks for all that you do for us.

    HAM – Here’s Another Masterpiece
    ROS – Rising Over Summit
    VET – Vicarious Edge Tracker
    RIC – Really Into Colgate
    GUT – Gut Sut But
    SUT – Sut Gut But
    BUT – But Gut Sut

    Anth.

  174. Andrew Flemington says:

    Hamilton – Can’t beat Rosberg.?
    Rosberg – Luckiest German alive.!!
    Ricciardo – Aussie Super Star.!!
    Vettel – Down, not out.!!
    Alonso – Car, not me.?
    Raikkonen – Give me time.?
    Bottas – Up and coming.!!
    Massa – Likeable but average.!!
    Magnussen – Beat team mate.!!
    Button – Luckiest WDC ever.!!
    Hulkenberg – Deserves top car.!!
    Perez – Save your money.!!
    Kvyat – Could be good.?
    Vergne – Try something else.!!

  175. Tex says:

    @ Jeff Spencer (reply # 1:5)
    VET : “Suzie Doesn’t Blow”
    Ha!…Now that’s a ripper right there…A winner?
    Clever, cryptic, funny ~ and with a tech edge
    ‘meaning’ that could well be the fair dinkum reason
    Vettel not doin’ so flash this year. (?)
    NB Reckon that little gem’d go straight over the heads
    of the F1 fab-boys though…(too technical…?)

  176. Jure says:

    Kimi: Three word man.

  177. Lohani says:

    My entry :) lol:

    Nico rosberg: methodical Ninja architect
    Lewis Hamilton: heartful soulful speedster /Speedy Sherzinger banger/ Genuine track article

    Kimi Raikonnen: Scandanavian shy rebel
    Fernando Alonso: Sorcerer mama mia

    Sebastian Vettel: car moniker specialist
    Daniel Ricciardo: speedy smiley trajectory

    Felipe Massa: cosmic conspiracy target
    Valletori Bottas: General Bison terminator

    Nico Hulkenberg: Master of action
    Sergio Perez: Too much action

    Adrian Sutil: nightclub fist mechanic
    Estaban Gutierezz: There or roundabouts

    JE Verne: Through and err
    kvyat: The ground Mig29

    Max Chilton: Safety car entrepreneur
    Jules Bianchi: Junior runway model

    Maldanado: Car extremities hitman
    Grosgeon: FInally matured inaction

    Kobayashi: Street smart samurai
    Van Der Garde: Selective-Sky sufferer

    Jenson Button: Elequont machinary critic
    Kevin Magnussen: Elequont seasonal activation

  178. D Vega says:

    Hamilton: The silver id
    Nando: Formula 1′s Narcissus
    Vettel: Vini, Vidi, Vici

  179. Sergio says:

    My congratulations for this entertaining idea. I criticized a part of the English F1 Press, but this web with their proffessionals are an example for rest of Sport journalism along the world.

  180. Steve Rogers says:

    Button – First on slicks

  181. Steve G says:

    Ricciardo: Anyone remember Vettel?

  182. DaveF says:

    Chilton – Driving Miss Daisy
    Kimi – Leave Me Alone!
    Button – Formula E Awaits
    Vettel – Usurped, Ferrari Bound
    Alonso – Machiavellian, Frustrated, Waning
    Hamilton – Fastest, Petulant, Divisive
    Rosberg – Britney Bites Back
    Massa – “Bottas is faster”
    Riccardio – The Real Deal
    Bianchi – Vettel’s next teammate
    Maldanado – Sponsorship trumps sense

    1. Nigel says:

      One of the best yet!

  183. roberto marquez says:

    Rosberg- best car winner
    Hamilton- fastest non marketable
    Ricciardo-the real thing
    Alonso- red Spanish bull
    Bottas-old man´s face
    Vettel- I was champion
    Hulkenberg- maybe today ?
    Button-follow pal Webber
    Massa- courage isn’t enough
    Magnussen- stick to rallies
    Perez- I will prevail
    Raikonen- cool but rude
    Vergne- ask the Professor
    Grossjean-french Maldonado
    Kvyat- rusia´s good boy
    Bianchi-two pas suffisants
    Maldonado-once is all
    Suttil- wait for Mercedes
    Gutierrez- Slim chances ( of ) firing
    Chilton- car backs specialist
    Kobayashi- always at -pole
    Ericsson- please ice racingl

    Regards

  184. Matt says:

    BUT: Need more balance
    GRO: 1st lap nutcase
    MAL: 1st class nutcase
    HAM: Need my girlfriend
    ROS: I’m from Monaco
    RAK: Iceman loves icecream
    ALO: Relentless Spanish bullfighter
    BOT: Another flying finn
    VET: The finger maestro
    KOB: Token japanese driver
    MAS: For sure, yes
    MAG: Better than daddy
    RIC: The flying aussie
    GUT: What was that
    BIA: Better car please

  185. Antonio Palmiotto says:

    Lewis Hamilton :” why always me?”

  186. M. Cooke says:

    Nico – Lets do this
    Lewis – Stop making mistakes
    Alonso – Keep it going
    Kimi – Whats going on?
    Vettel – What a nightmare
    Riccairdo – Quite the surprise
    Massa – Where is Bottas?
    Bottas – Faster, faster, faster
    Button – Need more speed
    Magnussen – This ‘aint bad
    Hulkenberg – Where is Perez?
    Perez – Where is Hulkenberg

  187. Sam says:

    Lewis Hamilton – Own worst enemy

    Felipe Massa – He Crashed Me!

  188. Felix Taggert says:

    Kimi: nothing to say.
    Lewis: let’s go racing
    Alonso: Ever ready battery
    Riccardo: never underestimate him
    Massa: flatters to deceive.
    Nico: an awkward customer

  189. ficklesteak says:

    ROS Dad was spectacular
    HAM Girlfriend is spectacular
    RIC Glad Webber quit
    VET Sad Webber quit
    MAS Injury prolonged career
    BOT Future world champion
    ALO Past his prime
    RAI Way past prime
    BUT Way way past
    MAG Also past prime
    HUL Might be good
    PER Definitely not good
    MAL Crash; show girlfriend
    GRO Better than Bourdais
    JEV Worse than Bourdais
    KVY Way too young
    BIA Did something impossible
    CHI Possibly last season
    SUT Better off fighting
    GUT Another pay driver
    ERI Back to fishing
    KOB Back to sushi

    1. DaveF says:

      First 4 are genius!

  190. Bullish says:

    Sebastian Vettel: Need 2013 Car.
    Daniel Ricciardo: Next World Champ
    Lewis Hamilton: Always Nico’s Fault.
    Nico Rosberg: Dont Blame Me
    Fernando Alonso: Always in it
    Kimi Raikkonen: Need More Power
    Romain Grosjean: Hope I finish
    Pastor Maldonado: Must maintain sponsors
    Jenson Button: Pretty in Pink
    Kevin Magnussen: Good half time
    Nico Hulkenberg: Winner in making.
    Sergio Perez: Not real deal.
    Adrian Sutil: Going to DTM.
    Esteban Gutierrez: Potential in waiting.
    Jean-Eric Vergne: On last legs.
    Daniil Kvyat: Kicking Vernge’s butt.
    Felipe Massa: Bottas is faster.
    Valtteri Bottas: First win soon.
    Jules Bianchi: Next Ferrari driver
    Max Chilton: Making up numbers.
    Kamui Kobayashi: Everyone needs one.
    Marcus Ericsson: Who is he.

  191. Keith says:

    Daniel Ricciardo: The Smiling Assassin

  192. Rich says:

    Ok, Sounds like fun:

    Rosberg: Under Lewis’ skin
    Hamilton: Keep your head
    Ricciardo: What a revelation!
    Alonso: Deserves another title
    Vettel: Was it real?
    Bottas: Come of age
    Hulkenberg: Better than Kimi
    Button: Lost the fire?
    Massa: Unlucky old boy!
    Magnussen: One race wonder
    Perez: On his day…
    Raikkonen: Choc-Ice man
    Vergne: Helmut’s sacking you
    Grosjean: What a nightmare!
    Kvyat: A quick learner
    Bianchi: What a star!
    Sutil: he’s still here?
    Ericsson: Who is that?
    Maldonaldo: Chill your wheels
    Gutierrez: Almost forgot him
    Chilton: Finishing last again
    Kobayashi: The last dance :-(

  193. Matt says:

    Faster than me!

  194. David Herron says:

    HAM: Might be champion
    ROS: Might be champion
    VET: Which way’s up?
    RIC: Follow the leader…
    RAI: Just kiling time
    ALO: Get me out
    MAS: Still got it
    BOT: No you don’t!
    PER: I told you
    HUL: Don’t forget me
    MAG: This IS tough
    BUT: One more time
    VER: Look, down here!
    KVY: Here I come
    GRO: Gaspliier mon talent
    MAL: Calming down now
    CHI: Stuck here forever?
    BIA: Go home Kimi!
    GUI: This is ‘fun’…
    SUT: What’s the point?
    ERI: Who ARE you?
    KOB: Living the dream…?!

  195. Jono says:

    RIC: The ‘Grin’ Reaper

  196. f1dingo says:

    Efficient marathon startegists!

    Incidentally, 3 ways to improve the F1 show:

    1. Get rif of team radio’s – manage the car, use your pitboard.
    All this chatter is dull anyway. Getting rid of constant updates will bring an air of unpredictability to strategies.

    2. Get rif of all the button’s/dials on the steering wheel – 3 button’s/dial’s allowed maximum, 1 has to be for DRS the other two to be agreed by the teams.

    3. Pirelli to bring 2 sets of every compound (supersoft/soft/medium/hard) to each GP (quali and race). Teams can use these compounds as they wish but the 8 sets of tyres must last quali and GP. If you chose not to run in quali to save tyres you are demoted to the rear of the grid. Every compound must be used during GP weekend (Practise not included obviously). Pole sitter gets an additional set of tyres of his choice for the race.

    Not perfect I know, but it’ll liven things up and give teams a greater choice of tyre compound that best suits their car.

    1. Arcturis says:

      Like this!

  197. Brahma says:

    Fernando Alonso = Relentless committed warrior

  198. Paul Walsh says:

    Ricciardo, Kangaroo, hoppingly, brilliant

  199. Swapnil says:

    Red Bull:
    DR: Uncaged smiling beast
    SV: 2fingers to Multi22

    Ferrari:
    FA: Relentlessly qualifying fifth
    KR: Leave icecream alone

    Mercedes:
    No country for : NR
    LH: Conspiracies and Cool-quotient

    McLaren:
    JB: Never comprehensively beaten
    KM: Ron’s Lewis#2 search

    Force India:
    NH: Forever best Midfielder
    SP: Elbows out. Ouch!

    Williams:
    FM: Fernando’s faster baby
    VB: MAXIMUM championship ATTACK

    Toro Rosso:
    DK: Speed gets seat —– P.S. – Sirotkin
    JEV: Deserves to stay

    Sauber:
    AS: Very Hot GF
    EG: Teammate’s got Hottie

    Lotus:
    RG: Fastest underrated nutcase
    PM: PiquetJr. was here.

    Marussia:
    JB: Suzi Perry crush
    MC: Slow steady Last

    Caterham:
    KK: Nice Banzai Samurai
    ME: Who is this?

    1. Sasidharan says:

      Its difficult to get to the stage where Piquet Jr crashed

  200. TimW says:

    Rosberg, fast and lucky.
    Hamilton, faster but unlucky
    Massa, never his fault
    Bottas, quietly beating Massa
    Ricciardo, noisily beating Vettel
    Vettel, proving doubters right.
    Grosjean, trying to shine
    Maldonado, talent level inadequate
    Button, polished, professional, steady
    Magnusson, flashes of brilliance
    Kvyat, not like rookie
    Vergne, calm composed competent
    Sutill, shouldn’t have returned
    Gutterez, brings big bucks.
    Hulkenberg, biding his time
    Perez, very good…sometimes
    Bianchi, showing his talent
    Chilton, steadily solidly slow
    Erricson, invisible at back
    Kobayashi, no longer cowboybashi
    Raikkonen, must try harder
    Alonso, still the boss.

  201. Dr Jones says:

    Alonso Held back
    BUT second to alonso
    Lewis likes been on the ropes
    ROS yet to show hand
    Benanci Fleeting Promise
    RIC Happy go lucky
    Chiltern Move forward or out
    SEB what else is left
    RIKKI Head full with other things
    HULK Reach his nemisis
    Perez Maturing
    Massa Needs to show
    Bottas Needs two years to get there

  202. iceman says:

    ROS – Right On Song
    HAM – Hindrances Are Mechanical
    VET – Vanished Exhaust Trickery
    RIC – Ripening Into Champion
    RAI – Requires An Ice-cream
    ALO – Always Looks Overqualified
    MAS – May Act Skittishly
    BOT – Bags Of Talent
    PER – Provokes Exasperation Regularly
    HUL – Has Unsufficient Lightness
    MAG – Might Achieve Greatness
    BUT – Bygone Unexpected Title-winner
    VER – Vehemently Envies Ricciardo
    KVY – Kiboshing Vergne’s Year
    GRO – Gambled Rashly Once
    MAL – Mishaps Are Life-threatening
    CHI – Can’t Hide Inadequacy
    BIA – Basking In Adulation
    GUT – Generally Unimpressive Technique
    SUT – Sliced Up Tycoon
    ERI – Early Retirement Imminent
    KOB – Keep On Believing

    1. Christopher Cathles says:

      Nice one, Iceman! Better than mine @160.
      What’s your take on ECC (Bernie) and WHI (Charlie Whiting)?
      And whilst I’m here…..
      JAONF1 = Jaw-Ache ON Five-live 1 (sorry James)

      1. iceman says:

        Thanks Christopher! Hmm, how about Enjoys Counting Cash and White Haired Investigator?

  203. Hugo Gallo says:

    Ros: Ich bin (ein) Wiesbadener (Not English, not three words, but the FIA is not so strict anymore, why should JA be?)
    Ham: I was surprised
    Alo: Just one more!
    Rai: Have not forgotten
    Mas: It´s a pity
    But: All is fine
    Per: In the kitchen
    Mal: Where am I?
    Hul: Damn, missed one!
    Gro: What went wrong?
    Ric: Outstanding job, mate!
    Vet: Stop smiling, mate!
    Ver: I prefer Tororosso
    Kvy: You see me?
    Sut: I´ll be here
    Gut: Send more money!!!!
    Bot: Just watch me

  204. deano says:

    Vettel- Not his year.
    Ricciardo- Faster than Vettel

    Hamilton- On the charge.
    Rosberg- The new Prost.

    Massa- Free at last!
    Bottas- Looks very promising.

    Alonso- Must be seething.
    Raikkonen- Needs more front.

    Button- Waste of space.
    Magnesson- Signs of talent.

    Vergne- Toro Rosso quality.
    Kvayt- Destined for greatness.

    Hulkenburg- Future World Champion.
    Perez- Fast but daft.

    Grossean- Needs to move.
    Maldonado- What a diddy.

    Gutierez- I’m not convinced.
    Sutil- Should be dropped.

    Bianchi- Future F1 star.
    Chilton- Good consistent performer.

    Erikkson- Typical pay driver.
    Kobiashi- Was quick once.

  205. aveli says:

    @brent, if you paid attention to f1 you would have noticed that all the drivers were asked who the knarliest driver was in 2008 and they all named hamilton. this was then reported in the official f1 magazine. for your information i am a fanatic of the truth so i find it excruciatingly painful to tell untruths.

  206. Michael Sen says:

    SV: car not me
    DR: not just company

    FA:
    KR: damned if stayed

    LH: needs more poles
    NR: friends no more

    JB: Honda is next?
    KM: one more year

    SP: Force is strong
    NH: why still here?

    VB: new fast Finn
    FM: Smedley back yeah!

    JEV: last chance saloon
    DK: Sure to stay

    JB: principality points purloined
    MC: steady not slow

    KK: too far away
    ME: faceless boy racer

    AS: year too many
    EG: money not enough

    RG: could run quicker
    PM: Barcelona just dream?

    Sorry for random order – couldn’t remember the actual numbers

    1. Michael Sen says:

      Aargh FA: Schumi not me?

  207. Brian Dooley says:

    VET – Suzie loves Dan
    HAM – Act think apologise
    ALO – Enigmatic Machiavellian Musketeer
    MAG – Jan sorry Kevin
    RIC – Sebastian who?
    RAI – The thawing Finn
    MAL – Crash boom bang
    BOT – Fastest Flying Finn
    HUL – 27 dresses
    GRO – No longer nuts
    BIA – Move over Kimi

    JAonF1 Measured Insightful Analysis!

      1. Brian Dooley says:

        :-)

  208. Rishi says:

    Has this replaced the pagelle? Either way, here goes:

    Sebastian Vettel: Driver in transition
    Daniel Ricciardo: The real deal
    Lewis Hamilton: Fastest Mercedes driver
    Nico Rosberg: Consistent, don’t underestimate!
    Fernando Alonso: Moody miracle worker
    Kimi Raikkonen: The real Kimi?
    Romain Grosjean: Spain the highlight
    Pastor Maldonado: De Cesaris reincarnated!
    Jenson Button: A difficult time
    Kevin Magnussen: Old school rookie
    Nico Hulkenberg: Legacy of A1GP!
    Sergio Perez: Displays streaky brilliance!
    Adrian Sutil: Can do better
    Esteban Gutierrez: Good or not?
    Felipe Massa: Must stay calm
    Valtteri Bottas: Mid-season honeymoon period
    Jules Bianchi: Daydream in Monaco!
    Max Chilton: Still too slow
    Kamui Kobayashi: Where is he?
    Marcus Ericson: Flying Sweden’s flag!

    1. Rishi says:

      Oh dear! I forgot the Toro Rosso drivers!

      Jean-Eric Vergne: Wet weather expert?
      Danil Kvyat: Age no barrier

  209. Gail says:

    Valtteri Bottas – Fast Finn Four

  210. Craig McLean says:

    Sebastian Vettel = Looking over Shoulder
    Daniel Ricciardo = Here I come!

  211. AdamJ says:

    LH: new Nigel Mansell
    NR: nice hair champ
    FA: never give up
    KR: mumble mumble mumble
    JB: driving for Dad
    KM: driving like Dad
    PM: Get spanners out
    VB: future world champ
    FM: fast but moans
    AS: fast grid filler
    DK: time for school
    MC: slower than Jules
    JB: dreams of Ferrari
    DR: the real deal
    SV: lost his touch
    RG: average nice guy
    KK: dreams of Honda

  212. FLEX_BANKAI says:

    LH: Disappearialis Quickius Incredibilus
    FA: Accelerati – Velocitus – Asphaltus
    PM: Grotesques – Overconfidentii – Riduclii

  213. ts2 says:

    How about all of them as
    Drives Fast Cars,
    unless you are particularly impressed then
    Drives Cars Fast.

  214. Jim says:

    Have to do this – Hamilton – Fast Petulant Child!

    Doubt it’ll get through the mod though, but that really sums him up this season.

  215. Renn says:

    Alonso: Total performance, always.
    Rai: Melting Ice Caps

    Ham: Passion and Determination
    Ros: Cold calculating victory

    Vett: Falling with Grace
    Ricc: Rising with Pace

    Bott: Ice with Smile
    Mass: Ready Steady, Blow

    Gros: Reigned in reckless
    Mald: Cruising Backmark Bruiser

    Sut: Not Fast enough
    Est: Working on Consistency

    Kob: So much more

  216. Richard Terry says:

    Jenson: smoking hot girlfriend

  217. Anthony says:

    ROS – Not magical enough
    HAM – Bleeding edge excitement
    RIC – Hope for future
    ALO – Choose another team
    BOT – Very exciting future
    VET – Poor man’s Alonso
    HUL – Brundle mark two
    BUT- Commentary career beckons
    MAS – Best days behind
    PER – Finding his feet
    RAI – Choose another team
    MAL – Embarrassing to F1

  218. Howard P says:

    Rosberg: Let me pass!
    Hamilton: Don’t sulk, win.
    Ricciardo: Personable, positive, successful.
    Alonso: Pound for Pound
    Bottas: Diamond in rough
    Vettel: Needs Multi 21.
    Hulkenberg: Slightly older diamond.
    Button: Time’s running out.
    Massa: Baby, I’m faster.
    Magnussen: Good start, faded.
    Perez: Fast, bit temperamental.
    Raikkonen: Leave me alone.
    Vergne: Like your shades.
    Grosjean: Not smiling anymore.
    Kvyat: Erm. He’s Russian.
    Bianchi: Talented, deserves better.
    Sutil: Career going backwards.
    Ericsson: Too many retirements.
    Gutierrez: What was that!?…
    …Maldonado: Professional Crash Tester.
    Chilton: Consistent I suppose.
    Kobayashi: Hanging in there.

    1. Howard P says:

      Aww, just realised I missed an opportunity with the GUT-MAL combo

      Gutierrez: What was that!?…
      …Maldonado: It’s me! CRASHHHHHH

  219. Dave Arrowsmith says:

    Rosberg: Popular with grannies
    Hamilton: Ego, earrings, entitlement
    Vettel: Toy chucking brat
    Ricciardo: Quite bewildering really
    Raikkonen: Leave me alone
    Alonso: Writing his legend
    Massa: 2008 World Champion
    Bottas: Happy chatty Finn
    Perez: Popular piggy bank
    Hulkenberg: The good German
    Magnussen: Not quite sure
    Button: Quite a chap
    Grosjean: Good in GP2
    Maldonado: Massive cash reserves
    Gutierrez: Police Academy Zed
    Sutil: Night club brawler
    Ericsson: Need for Swede
    Kobayashi: Rash quitting GTs
    Chilton: Dad paid cash
    Bianchi: Nothing to report

  220. david says:

    HAM – luck will change
    ROS – t’be found out
    RIC – oh so smiley
    ALO – same old nando
    BOT – new ice man
    VET – been found out
    HUL – mercedes? Redbull? Please!!
    BUT – oh so moany
    MAS – woops another crash
    MAG – not there yet
    PER – annoyingly inconsistent mexican
    RAI – cheque please
    VER – ‘least im handsome
    GRO – McLaren? Ferrari? Anyone?!!
    KVY – more records coming
    BIA – oh so pretty
    SUT – nice knowing you
    ERI – want more money
    MAL – here’s more money
    GUT – really, who cares?
    CHI – $ $ $
    KOB – car no good

  221. bgchar says:

    Ros- Married Keke Upstager
    Ham- Overtaking Luck Avoider
    Ric- Smiling Dark Horse
    Alo- Season Long Battler
    Bot- Cold as Ice
    Vet- Lower your finger
    Hul- Overweight for Ferrari
    But- Extremely respectable champion.
    Mas- One minute champion…
    Mag- Who’s Mika Hakkinen?
    Per- Constant Overtaking Manouvre
    Rai- Monotone yet exciting.
    JEV- Backward Sounding veg
    Gro- What happened Lotus?!
    Kyv- Date of birth?
    Bia- Retire, please Kimi!
    Mal- Crash Test Dummy
    Sut- Driving banned driver
    Gut- Perez’s poorer understudy
    Chi- British Back Marker
    Kob- Donations to drive.
    Eri- In Formula One?

  222. build says:

    Daniel Ricciardo:
    Bonza Grinning Sangroper (in Orstrarliyan lingo)
    or
    Grinning, Winning, Honeybadger.(in English)

  223. Anonym says:

    How about:

    ROS: New World Champion

    VET: Former World Champion

    ALO: Should Be Champion

    BOT: Future World Champion

  224. Jono says:

    HAM: Actions speak louder
    ROS: The quiet achiever
    HUL: Size that matters
    ALO: Man vs machine
    VET: Number 2 driver
    BOT: Watch this space
    BUT: Porche, Le Mans, 2015

  225. Joanne Carolan says:

    HAM – Act think reconsider
    ROS – Hungerless Finnish Pauper?
    ALO – Dogtanion transcending car
    RAI – Lightning strikes twice
    MAL – Better Buckle up
    GRO – Former life nutcase
    RIC – Gregariousness belies rapidity
    VET – Suzie, let’s divorce
    PER – Hero or Zero

  226. simon says:

    Pastor Maldonado: Bish, Bash, Bosh…. or perhaps that should be Bi$h, Ba$h, Bo$h !!

  227. Steve says:

    give engines sounds

  228. chris green says:

    hip hop hamster – hamilton the monaco kid – rosberg

    ricciardo – the smiling assassin max chilton – flat chat max

    Kamui Kobayashi – the kobe kamikaze

  229. Sach V says:

    All F1 drivers: ‘Run by Engineers’

    Sad times.

  230. RICHARD says:

    FA Piloto mucho macho

    LH Racer or celeb?

    SV Wingeing one-trick pony

    PM Wingeing no-trick pony

    KR Bored again champ

    ALL Overpaid underemployed divas

    THE SPORT Over-regulated over-complicated over-priced

    THE FANS Ignored exploited despised

  231. Word My Words says:

    KR: Nothing to say.

  232. Seifenkistler says:

    HAM: Humourless After Malfunctions
    ROS: Racing On Sunside

  233. Mart Fish says:

    Rosberg: Now or Never
    Hamilton: I’m a celebrity
    Ricciardo: Friendly speed merchant
    Alonso: Relentless attack dog
    Bottas: Unexpectedly good work
    Vettel: Sulking toy thrower
    Hulkenberg: Moment has gone.
    Button: Needs spark back
    Massa: No road sense.
    Magnussen: Will not happen
    Perez: Is he quick?
    Raikkonen: Communication not required
    Vergne: Make or Break
    Grosjean: No more crashes
    Kvyat: One season wonder
    Bianchi: Getting better slowly
    Sutil: Time to go
    Ericsson: Anonymous in rear
    Gutierrez: Making up the numbers
    Maldonado: Not Mr Popular
    Chilton: Whats the point?
    Kobayashi: History doesn’t repeat.

  234. MikeW says:

    Bernie: Whiter than white (ahem)
    Kimi: problem is Finnish
    Vettel: Danny is better
    F1 Car: sounds like spin-dryer
    Pastor Maldonado: sack him soon

  235. Moe S says:

    RAI – Rarely Appears Interested
    MAL – Mishap Appears Likely
    ROS – Really Outstanding Season
    HAM – His Ailing Mercedes
    RIC – Rapidly Improving Career
    ALO – Another Lost Opportunity
    VET – Victory Eluding Times
    BUT – Brawn’s Ultimate Triumph
    HUL – Heavily Unfair Legislation

    1. Brian Dooley says:

      Very clever, well done!

    2. James Allen says:

      Congratulations! This one is the winner as voted by JA on F1 staff.

      We will be in touch for postal address.

      Thanks everyone for taking part

      1. Moe S says:

        James,

        Thanks a lot for this fantastic prize ! Can you confirm that you received my postal address ok ? I just want to double check that my email to you wasn’t blocked by anything.

        Thanks again.

      2. James Allen says:

        Yes all good. Prizes are on their way to you

  236. jon says:

    ALO: Samurai on wheels
    HAM: Fast but fragile
    RIC: Surefooted smiling savage
    RAI: Fast finicky Finn
    VET: Down but determined

  237. Rein says:

    SV – one trick pony?

  238. jari says:

    BOT: faster than you.
    MAS: you know who
    HAM: holding-up radio frequencies
    ROS: parking in Monaco
    VET: I want doughnuts
    RIC: smile or die
    RAI: is this ferrari?
    ALO: yes this is
    SCH: keeps on fighting

    1. Anonym says:

      Last one should read: MSC. :)

  239. Shueb says:

    Kimi: doesnt need words

    Apologise if someone already used this… Not read all.

  240. **Paul** says:

    Hamilton: Finding his Bubble.
    Rosberg: Married, Leading, German?
    Button: Ichi bearded Triathelete
    Vettel: Where’s my finger?
    Ric: Stolen a finger!
    JEV: I’ll be back

  241. Nick says:

    I’m assuming this competition is closed. Wish I had seen this earlier. Were winners announced?

    1. James Allen says:

      Yes winners have been announced now. Thanks

  242. Bill Smith says:

    Was there a winner?

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