F1 Summer Break 2015
Help us Find the perfect buzzword for these “new look” F1 cars
Posted By: James Allen  |  27 Jan 2014   |  2:46 pm GMT  |  284 comments

We’ve had a huge response from readers about these new look 2014 F1 cars, with getting on for 1,000 comments over the weekend.

And one noticeable strand of comment has been fans trying to figure out what the unusual noses on these cars look like. The right buzzword to describe this new look design is something F1 commentators and media will be desperately searching for ahead of the new season, so we’d like to throw them a lifeline by asking fans to come up with a new buzzword for the F1 noses.

Here are a few of the suggestions we’ve had for lookalikes along with a few of our own…

Kenneth M’boy says: “The Ferrari looks like a Dustbuster, Dyson sponsorship going begging there, Luca”

Cartoon characters
Cyril Sneer, a character from The Raccoons cartoon series has been suggested as a dead ringer for one or two of the cars.

Another suggestion from Kenneth M’boy: “I always think of Jughead from Archie comics when I see that image of the McLaren.

Mammal lookalikes
The good old Anteater is a name that has cropped up on numerous occasions in the last few days, for obvious reasons.

Another popular suggestion has been the Bottle Nose Dolphin, which does bear more than a passing resemblance to the new Williams.

A few of our own

Looking at the new McLaren MP4-29, we think that it is a dead ringer for that popular comic actor from the Carry On films of the 1960s and ’70s, Kenneth Williams. Separated at birth?

Meanwhile, the Lotus E22 has prompted a few walrus comparisons but we reckon the front end bears a startling resemblance to a tuning fork laid flat.

And in terms of anteaters, we’re going for the specific in the case of the Ferrari and choosing the Aardvark from the late-’60s TV cartoon, The Ant and the Aardvark. Just change blue to red and voilà…

So, what do you reckon TV pundits should be calling this year’s models? Is it the Ferrari Dustbuster or the F14 T Aardvark, the Lotus Walrus or the Tuning Fork? Keep the suggestions coming and we’ll see if we can’t properly christen these new noses.


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  1. CYeo says:


    Afterall, they both use gas to make a lot of noise and hot air.

  2. Random 79 says:

    The problem is that there isn’t any one thing that they all resemble, so at the risk of going slightly left field why not call them Kaiju noses?

    Same source, same DNA, but wildly different results.

  3. AuraF1 says:

    This is just to help avoid the Freudian slip for commentators of, ‘welcome to formula wang, I mean penis!..I mean…oh never mind…’

    I expect many blush moments when they talk about ‘slipping one up the inside’…

    We may have a pit to car radio bleeping system now to avoid swearing – will we see pixelation of ‘offensive’ car noses to spare family audiences?

  4. Peter Dron says:


  5. Dave Sheppard says:

    I think they could all be covered by one name ‘The Michaels’ – lots of different nose jobs, all bad.

  6. Adam Taylor says:

    I think that the Lotus is following the two pronged approach but the rest could be called the ‘Rostrum”, which is the name of a dolphins nose but is also another name for the podium which I think ties in perfectly.

  7. hippyneil says:

    I still think “Proboscis Monkey” rather than “anteater”, although the generic “Fugly” still applies to most of them.

  8. DonSimon says:

    Cyrano de Bergerac

  9. Ashley says:

    One for the children of the 90′s: Otis The Aardvark

  10. AlexD says:

    Mutant cars, aliens, Grisly-cars, UFOs

  11. viv says:

    How about “pages of a biology textbook”… ?

  12. Paul H says:

    The Ferrari is Cyril Sneer, the Williams is Kenneth Williams or Jim Rosenthal or The Count, the Lotus is The Rabbit (think Anne Summers), the McLaren is Alice (the Goon, from Popeye). That said I think they will all evolve from the start of testing so names will have to adjust too.

    Can’t wait to see the Merc and RBR now to see if there is any designs similar across teams or no two the same. Be great to see every car with a different interpretation and the development race that would create.

  13. Delgado says:

    Much as the English language itself is constantly reinventing itself so it is
    with Formula One. In that spirit why not
    claim a new meaning for an old and very
    seldom used term? ‘Dynasic’ comes to mind.

    The dynasic cars of the 2014 Formula One season.

    From the Latin terms ‘Dynamica’(Dynamic)
    and ‘Nasus’(Nose).

    Formula One renewing and reinventing the English language? Why not. It surely beats
    twerking our way towards another selfie!

  14. Jock Ulah says:

    Whatever . . .

    Anyway, I recommend this firm to design a nice garage for them . . .

  15. Delgado says:

    Well, so much for my spelling and syntax!

  16. jono says:

    Yes well, I do think the word “sneer” as in cyril sneer describes it very well. You could even say “the FIA forced them to sneer”.

    As for the lotus with it’s black colour scheme I’d go for the Stag Beetle. Or just call it a Beetle for short. All they need then is a change of engine supplier. The new VW Beetle Lotus anyone?

  17. HerrE says:

    Well I think it’s rather easy, we just recycle an excisting word:

    Probe + Idiotic = Probiotic!

    FIA aren’t as smart as they want us to belive, and it still remains insufficient to prove a cause and effect relationship between safety and this new look. Equivalent with probiotic products, that is.

  18. Karim says:

    I think the buzzword for Ferrari has to be the dust buster. The Ferrari “dust buster” would just sound so cool coming from Brundle’s voice. There may be other buzzwords, but this one just hits it home and all casual fans who don’t know much of the sport will even laugh. No point overcomplicating it by coming up with a cartoon character that only a minority in Britain have watched- and that hardly anyone knows around the globe. No one will find that funny. The Ferrari dust buster or the Lotus walrus are pretty good as they are. The McLaren actually doesn’t look that bad- so we can give them a break ;)

  19. DB4Tim says:


  20. Bill Nuttall says:

    Let’s not beat around the bush here, the McLaren and Williams both look like they have human male reproductive organ stuck on the front!

  21. Olli says:

    Since the regulations now make it illegal for cars to blow, they now suck, instead. The vacuum cleaner Ferrari, anyway.

    You know what the “T” stands for in F14 T? Turkey. Gobble gobble. There, I said it.

  22. Rich In Norway says:


  23. Iwan says:

    Are you allowed to say fugly on the air? If not I’d go with not-so-classic-looking-monstrosity or NSCLM for short. Catchy.

  24. iiro says:

    They are Weevils.


    McLaren is a Wheat Weevil while the Ferrari is the Boll Weevil. With over 60,000 species I’m sure we will be able to name accurately each and every of the 2014 F1 models.

  25. Kenneth Iversen says:


  26. darren reid says:

    The Proboscis Era …. Has a great ring :-D

  27. DB says:

    Like pre washed denim the Ferrari look should be called the ‘pre crashed’ look.

    Williams and Mclaren ‘John Thomas’

    Lotus ‘Bike Rack’

    All could be simply classed as abominations! I wouldn’t want to be trying to sell posters of these anyway!

  28. Sebee says:

    I think we just have to call them “needle noses”

    I can’t see them being called by another brand(like dustbuster) or cartoon character, which will only belittle F1 and give free exposure to those items.

  29. Ryan says:

    sorry James, but all my suggestions will no doubt get me banned from posting ever again.

  30. Lez Martin says:

    For me, the Ferrari is akin to a Manta Ray, the Lotus a shaver plug, and the others. thus far, depending on length of snout, either a Bottle nose or River Dolphin, the McLaren, in some ways, a Harrier jump jet….

  31. oskaalb says:

    I think Ferrari F14T Dustbuster is spot on. Williams FW37 Bottle Nose Dolphin is good too, but a little long. I also suggest we use the name Lotus E22 Fork Lift. Maybe Pastor and Romain can use it to lift away other cars rather than crash into them?

  32. CarlH says:

    I can think of several ‘buzzwords’.

    Unfortunately none are suitable for public consumption….

  33. Nick Lynn says:

    Since it’s all about the nose perhaps we need to think about that: The’Snozzle’?

    I’m sure someone will come up with a snappier soundbite.

  34. Definately the F14 T Aardvark :) Love that!

    Lotus can’t be the Walrus, Williams already claimed that one a few years back (for a few races until the nose got blown off – portent for the Lotus) – Maybe LOTUS is no longer “Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious” but “Lets Own Twin Under Snouts” (best I could think of on spur of moment :( )

    Anyways, I like these designs (apart from the Aardvark – pig ugly front)

  35. Gilles V says:

    Viagra will never sponsor these car

  36. Adrian Bourne says:

    Ferrari = leaf blower

  37. AndyFov says:

    I can imagine someone at Lotus going “What do you mean aerodynamically efficient? I thought I was asked to design something to park a wheelbarrow in.”

    Williams have clearly subbed nose design to Jim Henson’s Workshop. Gonzo’s my best name for that, but it’s so obvious that has to be hackneyed already.

    lol @ dustbuster. Let’s hope it’s better than it looks, because Fernando’s not going to be a happy lad if that thing sucks.

  38. Optimaximal says:

    Here’s a good one…


  39. Nick says:

    That McLaren looks like a Proboscis monkey. My 6 year old daughter is a fan of the “Wild Kratts” TV show and they have an episode about the Proboscis monkeys called “Ker-Honk”.

    The McLaren is hereby called “Ker-Honk” in our family.

  40. surya kumar says:

    HI James,

    Cant think of anything specific however the image of Force India and Mclaren are looking sleek in their respective new Avatars.

    On a side note read it on other sides that Alan Mcnish will be joining you on Radio 5 live….

  41. Joel says:

    Cyril Sneer Ferrari on track is nothing to sneer at.
    Lotus is a costly forklift.

  42. Andy says:

    The Ferrari really reminds me of former NHL tough guy Tim Hunter:


    So I’ll be calling it the Timmy.

  43. Spyros says:

    I had the Aardvark (from The Ant and the Aardvark) earmarked for the Williams, the idea being that they would pencil in the opening… then McLaren showed up, with the hole already in place. The color will be a problem, but that’s how marketing folks earn their money!

  44. ManOnWheels says:

    Obviously these cars have middle finger noses, right in the face of the rule makers, all the people in attendance and the millions watching around the globe, “tune” in and let’s get ready to rumble. Oh, and while we’re at it: Look, darling, I found your Ferrari, so why don’t you start the engine and have a race around the house? Enjoy yourself..

  45. stuart ward says:

    just plain fugly!!

    They just get worse every year because the FIA
    never close off the loop holes that allow these aero solutions to be thought up in the first place. Bring back the jordan 191 or Mclaren MP4-20 i say.

    Stuart Ward

  46. Peter Dron says:

    Up to a point, I would not mind that the cars were so hideously ugly if the racing improved, but there is no chance of that.

    Heads will no doubt roll at Maranello if the F14-T (which looks like a coke snorter to me…) does not dominate the season.

  47. **Paul** says:

    The angle change reminds me of concords nose when not in supersonic flight mode.

    I guess that’s absolutely non-offensive to any member of the audience and is actually a compliment to the designers/teams.


  48. MattH says:

    Droop Snoot Cars

  49. Paul D says:

    What about an ‘Extender’ like when Alan Partridge pulls out the table and shouts “Yes, it’s an extender”?

  50. JP says:

    The head on shot of the Ferrari looks just like Dunlop’s Groundhog cartoon. Have a look.

  51. Justin says:

    Proboscis monkey

  52. Richard Venn says:

    Stumped for this year, but looking forward to next season already where we should have the Ferrari F15T

  53. Chaz says:

    Fugly pretty much nail it…

  54. Max Brode says:

    ‘Honk is beautiful!’

    (Well… eye of the beholder etc etc)

  55. Max Brode says:

    I would definitely describe the 2014 crop of cars so far as the ‘honk regulation generation’…

  56. George Alaimo says:

    Bet Patrick Head has a tank full of these at home: http://www.practicalfishkeeping.co.uk/custom/images/large/4e2451061ef23.jpg

  57. TDKRs says:

    I suppose it’s too obvious to go with penis nose then??

  58. Rufus says:

    Gearbox Sniffer,
    Menthol nose (all the cars look like they are about to sneeze, with the exception of the Lotus, which already has.)
    E.D. nose (E.D. short for gentleman’s ‘disfunctional’ problems)
    Caution Trip hazard,
    Biggus Dickus

  59. Gaz Boy says:

    Remember Gonzo from The Muppets? How about a gonzo-nose or gonzo-mobile?

  60. Dingle Dell says:

    The clever Monty Python boys infiltrated the FIA last year.

  61. GIf says:

    Ferrari looks like a Tapir

  62. Paul says:

    The Mclaren looks like a Warthog from the front view.

  63. Jota180 says:

    Oh, I dunno – How about

    ‘sharpies’ or ‘nibs’ or ‘nib noses’ or ‘probes’ [in a Gareth Cheeseman accent] :)

  64. Andrew Carter says:

    I think you’re opening up quite the can of worms here James, most descriptions I’ve seen would get you sacked from the BBC if you said them on air!

  65. AMC says:

    McLaren – Pinocchio

    Lotus – The Claw/The Pincer

  66. I think the McLaren nosecone looks like the Alien that burst from John Hurt’s chest..

  67. Sylvester says:

    Hello James / Fellow readers,

    If we are looking for a common reference point.

    Then the comic series “Asterix ” would be a perfect fit as all characters ( Most ) hav a large and weird shaped nose, but each different from one another as with this years F1 cars.

    Invite fellow readers to match the characters to the F1 teams.
    A few suggestions are below.

    Asterix – Ferrari
    Obelix –
    Getafix — Mclaren
    Dogmatix – Mercedes ( Roscoe )
    Vitalstatistix – Lotus F1
    Cacafonix –
    Geriatrix – Williams ( Oldest member in the village )
    AntiClimax – Force India ( Always lose out in the climax )
    Fulliautomatix – Redbull
    Semiautomatix –
    Unhygienix –
    BActeria –

    The wiki link to view the description of each characters is given below.


    Asterix along with a F1 or 2014 prefix suffix. would be my suggestion.

  68. Vinay says:

    @lotus = forklift
    @williams = medecinedropper
    @mercedes = middlefinger

  69. Rats says:

    Mclaren its ronzo and gonzo.
    Ferrari its Alonso and gonzo.
    Its a bit of a muppet design.

  70. Karl Reid says:

    The perfect opportunity for some F1 teams to target Ann Summers for nose tip sponsorship I’d say….. No more need to elaborate, one thinks :-)

  71. Sland says:


  72. Neil Jenney says:

    How about calling it the “Thesenewregsdontreallyfitwithour2013aerophilosophybutweregoingtomakeitworkbecausewerescaredoflookingsillyifwegoradicalandgetleftineveryoneswake” look or TNRDRFWOTAPBWGTMIWBWSOLSIWGRAGLIEW for short?

  73. Jason says:

    Wing clipped! In more ways thn one but most notably the wings.

  74. Nigel says:

    Just as well the Torro Rosso hadn’t been launched when you posted this, or you would have got rather more NSFW suggestions.

    Actually, NSF-F1 describes the looks of most of these cars.

  75. dren says:

    DDN and SDN

    Double d— nose and single d— nose. Easy peasy.

  76. Bayan says:

    The Webbos (except ferrari and lotus). They remind me of Webber’s finger to Seb in last year’s malaysian GP.

  77. Ahmad says:

    Apart from Lotus, I would call them “beak”, “eagle beak”, “vulture beak”.

    For the Lotus nose: “fangs”.

    Before this year, the last ugly nose was the Williams with the “Walrus”. That was terrible to watch and made no impression on the clockwatch either.

  78. james says:

    Lotus “The thing they use to get stuff out of horses hooves” nose?

    Mclaren “basking Shark” nose?

  79. Charlie says:

    I heard from the Ted Kravitz post that the air intakes had been designed and mandated by RedBull? Am I missing something here?

  80. luqa says:

    Lotus obviously is a Tusker, but hopefully quicker than an elephant.
    The Ferrari F14AT (Fix It Again Tony ) looks as though the nose dropped off and while Tony was gluing it back on, it just drooped down to its current flaccid position- Mama Mia!
    Mclaren: dog with big ears about to take off
    Williams: Aardvark
    Sauber: looks reasonable, too early to tell though ditto Force India

  81. Dave Deacon says:

    ‘Durante’ noses from the famous Jimmy Durante…

  82. Dave Deacon says:

    I forgot to add the other names ‘The Schnoz’ and ‘The Great Schnozzola’…

  83. Uppili says:

    The fact that F1 cars have become a laughing stock even among hard core F1 fans is testament to how badly this aerodynamic formula is.

    I am curious why no F1 teams raised this aesthetic issue and moved quickly to fix it last year? All of them are pretty much only offering lip service right now…

  84. Bryan says:

    Definitely the Proboscis era. Torro Rosso in particular looks like Proboscis Monkey!!

  85. Kev says:


    Barry’s as in Barry Manillow

    or the Maninose

  86. cyeh says:

    Noo Noo nose car (Teletubbies vacuum :D )

  87. Richard says:

    Which cartoon his nose would start growing when they were lieing? That is the perfect nickname for these new generation of F1 cars.

  88. Jeff says:

    a couple suggestions;

    - the “uh hum,” as in the clearing of throat, one eyebrow raised, “no what i mean, nudge nudge,” nose.

    - the “RE,” as in rectal examiner, or “examiner”

    - the “Space Probe,” again, going with the rectal exam theme here

    … speaking of, do no look up rectal exam on wikipedia unless you want to be exposed to a horribly intrusive medical drawing… although, this image will come to mind the first time one of those noses shoves into someones diffuser

  89. Nick says:


    “Squeezed by Romain Grosjean, Hamilton was left with nowhere to go, and as the wheels of their pokey new f1 cars touched Grosjean was launched off the back of Sergio Perez’s Pokey Force India before coming crashing down on the pokey nose of Fernando Alonso’s Ferrari.”

  90. Aelfwald says:

    From the front the Ferrari reminds me of Ja Ja Binks from Star Wars.

  91. vassilis says:

    What about ERNs (Eyebrow Raising Noses)? It works in two ways… :P

  92. Shaboopi says:

    I’m surprised no one has said this yet, but the majority of these new cars look like Wile E Coyote. I wonder which will be the roadrunner…

  93. Jeff says:

    I’ve got it.. the proctologist

  94. AlexD says:

    James, I think we are solving a wrong problem. Instead of trying to find the right name for something that is ultimately ugly, we should really understand why on earth we have them. People that come up with rules should really see a bigger pictures and understand what effect a certain rule will have. Why to be so short sighted? Sometimes I struggle to understand how a sport so professional and sharp can come with something as disgraceful as this. It is a shame to be a F1 lately…………..

  95. iGOR BdA says:

    GONZO from muppet babies!

  96. Simon Wilson says:

    Just call them “Vettel’s Finger”

  97. JimmiCynic says:

    perhaps we borrow other bastardized terms. Since the front wings have odd bits stuck on them called Winglets, the new ‘safety’ noses have even more awkward bits called Noselets. Or Schnozlets. Or Snotlets. Or Spikelets. Or Drooplets. Or Tusklets. Exact term would depend on the specific car being deprecated.

    When describing the full field on the starting grid: FFE. Full Frontal Embarrassment.

  98. Darren D says:


    This year’s Technoz cars host an array of dazzling new technology and signature noses that offer a distinct demarcation from past F1 formulae.


    F1 wind tunnels have been blowing hard to develop the ultimate Noztech to solve the latest technical regulation riddle.

    Nozolution (also Nozolutionary)

    This year’s Nozolution is the most outwardly distinctive signal of change in an F1 year wrought with technical advancement.

    Rhinoplaz Tech

    F1 media and fans are having a hard time looking past the latest Rhinoplaz Tech. In a sport desperately clinging to the glamour of a romantic and deadly past, a focus on aesthetics is undermining the importance of the revolution taking place under the skin of its 2014 championship contenders.

    “Did you see the nose on that Columbus guy? New World please…the dude is UGLY!”

  99. oskaalb says:

    OMG, I’ve just seen a picture of the new Toro Rosso STR9. Now, that’s the real Gonzo!

  100. Smeghead says:

    How about Trans-Am wheelarch nostrils himself?

    I humbly submit: “Rimmer”.


  101. Abdul Ahad Jajja says:

    The Sauber front nose looks like a B1-B bomber!
    Check this photo:

  102. Dave says:

    I feel the mclaren and sauber look like basking sharks. The Toro Rosso looks like a female play toy.

    The name I think should be applied to the Ferrari is the Door Stop. It looks exactly like a door stop

  103. Gizmo says:

    When I was stationed in the UK at RAF Upper Heyford, our planes (F-111) were nicknamed the Aardvark. I think that is a reasonable name for the new nose design.

    I like dolphin nose, but looking at some of the cars, that would be an insult to such an intelligent mamal.

  104. Mary says:

    A friend suggested “GonzoNose” which I quite like (after the Muppets character).

  105. Lionel Flaneur says:

    Chad. As in “What, no downforce?”

  106. Hoarsewhisperer says:

    I can’t help think of the muppet ‘Beaker’ when I look at the new noses. In it’s favor, there is no inuendo so it’s fine for general audience and it rolls off the tongue. For example: “Kimi missed his pitlane mark and and is driving around to….wait…it looks like he going to use that beaker nose to cut the line for ice cream!”


  107. Andrew says:

    Hollywood nose. Because all of them look like they’ve had work done.

  108. alx says:

    Lotus : Snake-tougued

    F1 Ugly

  109. clint says:

    Remember the cartoon the snorks?

  110. Alexx says:

    the Beetle-Juice nose

  111. Stephen says:

    Imo they should be called the ‘diversion nose’ because they’ve diverted the attention away from the dreadful double points rule!

  112. Tom Power says:

    As commented earlier a simple generic term for the noses has to be ‘snozzle’ or ‘snazzle’.

  113. Adam says:

    Having just seen the new Torro Roso it looks like the “Kilroy” graffiti nose!

  114. DeWeberis says:

    I was thinking if some team has the idea of a disposable nose. In the warm-up lap some car would crash into the back of his teammate to castrate / get rid of the fallic nosecone and get an aerodynamic advantage along the race.
    It might work with all cars so far, except Ferrari and Mercedes.
    As far as I know there is no punishment for finishing the race without some part of the nose, given that its still inside the weight limit.

  115. Paul H says:

    Toro Rosso is clearly modelled on Gonzo from the muppets. As I expect Red Bull to be exactly the same no idea what to call that.

  116. Lee says:

    The Gonzo Nose

  117. nick says:

    This is like FIFA introducing huge changes to football, like making the goals wider, or changing the number of players in a team, but the pre-season talk on the internet being all about the players’ haircuts. I blame Williams for starting it all a few years ago by creating a car with such an obvious animal identity.

  118. Billy says:

    Hampton? Hampton Wick? Three card trick?

    Sorry James couldn’t resist :-)

  119. Nano says:

    The Australian press labelled the Mclaren an “echidna” (An Australian Anteater with spines)

  120. Ronnie says:

    I adore Robert Kubica and miss him, but sorry his name was the first thing popped into my mind when seeing those cars. So I’d call all of them “Robert”

  121. Sufyaan says:

    I prefer ‘Dolphin nose’. Its a shorter name than the others and maybe better suited if used in a professional environment. Well, better than the others for a start :)

  122. zootrees says:

    The Alain Prost Era

  123. Ian says:

    Have not gone through all comments but lets not mess about condom nose ( if only the durex were back as a sponsor )

  124. Kaki says:

    Aardvark is the best hahaha!!!

  125. jeffrey says:

    From a punk archives:

    Joy Division
    The Buzzcocks
    Sex Pistols
    Stiff Little Fingers

    …etc etc

  126. Roy says:

    Ferrari: The Hoover

    Lotus: The Earwig

    Mclaren: Flaring Nostril

    Williams – Proboscis monkey

  127. Marc Saunders says:

    I would propose Proboscis monkey, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Proboscis_monkey but it´s name is too complex to be popular. In Spanish it sounds like nose-monkey and if you see the pictures on the link it is the most approximate nose to that of the cars.

  128. KRB says:

    Shazbot noses.

    The curse word used by Mork, of Mork and Mindy fame. That character has a few things in common with some frequently heard comparisons surrounding the new look noses.

    He’s an alien who also hoovered drinks up with his finger.

    Nanu, nanu!

  129. D Vega says:

    Ferrari: The prancing platypus.
    Lotus: The touring fork.
    Mclaren: Tanager.

  130. meridabob says:

    The Lotus looks like a ball joint separator, so, the BJS (JPS?) with the rest seemingly waiting for one.

  131. Surefunk says:

    Have I smoked something funny or does the mclaren look like a Horse??

    Check out the sidepod intakes as ‘EYES’ then follow the ‘horse nose’ down to it’s nostrils.


  132. John says:

    They have come up with new ways of getting money out of sponsors. They are targeting surgeons.

    This year it will be sponsored by
    rhinoplasty surgeon association, called NosesRus.com.

    Next year, we will get a new rear end design sposored by the Proctologist Surgeons association.

    RearsRus.com ( I suggest you don`t google that )

    Feel free to practice your repair skills using the Surgeon Simulator at


  133. Mike Taberner says:

    Brewer’s Droop…not only what it looks like..it’s also the same effect they have on me!

  134. IP says:

    I’ll be referring to this as the “Snout” era.

  135. Notna says:

    What about Pinocchio noses?

    Hey, whatever happens, someone’s going to win by an ugly nose for sure!

  136. Carl says:

    1) FALCON

    Cone in peregrine falcon nostril allows air to enter by disrupting airflow.

    Falcons are known for their high speed flight, and the Peregrine is thought to be the fastest bird, accurately clocked at 90 meters per second. A contender is the Prairie Falcon. Incidentally, in the making of airplanes, especially jets, humans came onto a problem. As planes got faster and faster, the engines started choking out at a certain speed. It seems that the air, instead of going into the cowl of the engine, encountered a wall of still air and engine cowl and so split and went around the engine. Puzzled, the researchers wondered how the falcons could still breathe at such incredible speeds. Looking at the falcon’s nostrils, they found the answer. In the opening of the nostril is a small cone that protrudes a bit. Fashioning a similar cone in the opening of the jet engine, they discovered that the air could pass into the engine even at great speed. Once again a human invention is preceded by an animal adaptation.” (Chaffee Zoo 2007)

    “The air pressure from a 200 mph (320 km/h) dive could possibly damage a bird’s lungs, but small bony tubercles in a falcon’s nostrils guide the shock waves of the air entering the nostrils (compare intake ramps and inlet cones of jet engines), enabling the bird to breathe more easily while diving by reducing the change in air pressure.” (Wikipedia 2008) –Asknature.org

    2) Xenomorph

  137. Kevin says:

    Hideous, just plain hideous. Not sure if they are safer because they can be used as a lance or as a wedge to puncture or launch their opponents respectively.

  138. Christopher Cathles says:

    Having produced and scripted for Radio Two and put words into narrators mouths, I feel at a bit of an advantage. I would suggest for James’ 5-Live commentary that 2014 is the year of
    “Snouts’n’Snorters”, the latter referring to back-end single unblown exhaust sounds (of cars, that is)

  139. Rick Cook says:

    Ferrar Jar Binks.

  140. Matthew Cheshire says:

    Hands down, It has to be an Echidna’s beak.


    I saw an echidna last week and had an overwhelming urge to paint it blue and put a number on it.

    Echidnas lay eggs so there’s a natural headline for under performing teams too.

  141. Jako says:

    2014 – Must be the year of the Fertilised Nose.

    They have grown enormous.


  142. Mike Hutchison says:

    Mclaren nose – rams head!!!

  143. Mark V says:

    Big ugly noses = CLOWN CARS.

    Along with the new double points rule, teams now get bonus points for squeezing the most drivers into their car.

  144. Horoldo says:

    F1 2014 – The year of the Honker / Schnoz / Beak

  145. abnormal jest says:

    Noses that are ridiculous in so many ways: Comedy Noses or Cartoon Noses. These are both generic enough and broadcastable!

  146. Kilroy was here: This was a graffito, of unknown origin but used predominantly by members of the US and UK military and predominantly during WWII. It was often combined with an earlier cartoon image, known as Chad, although the two aren’t related apart from that conjunction.

  147. Goob says:

    Booger Cars

  148. Matt says:

    tragic rhinoplasty!

  149. Michael says:

    Lotus: the clothes peg

  150. rob says:

    I have only seen a few of the new cars so far, but the Ferrari, and the McLaren conjure up only one description:- UGLY! rooooly rooooly UGLY! Function before form is O.K., but there are limits. A squashed toothpaste tube is not a pretty sight, when masquerading as a state of the art racing car

  151. Jacob says:


  152. Dmitry says:

    I am all for Kenneth Williams =)

    My own version will be – Cuttlefish or someone else from Sepiida order. They can arrange their tentacles in any shapes – be it a single protrusion or a twin Lotus-like…

  153. kenneth chapman says:

    maybe a ‘pino’ as a diminution of ‘pinocchio’. or ‘hooter’ a slang word not currently in use for ‘nose’.

  154. Wes says:

    Aquiline or roman or eagle all terms for a humans crooked nose

  155. CYeo says:

    I think everybody has forgotten about the gharial/gavial – a fish eating crocodile.

    Long pointed snout anyone?


  156. Optimaximal says:

    Thought of another one!

    ‘Schlong Wheelbase’!

  157. keith hardy says:


  158. tk says:

    Bishop’s Nose!

  159. moxlox says:

    My wife coined the name Pinocchio nose for the majority of these proboscis.

    Upon seeing the new Red Bull she called that one Squidward after the Spongebob Squarepants character.

    So there you have it. In my house anyway!

  160. Merlinghnd says:

    Not sure if it has been said before but I reckon the “Pointers”, ie “that was the first of the pointers”

    May not be catchy but a singleword that everyone might get, it might work.

    Can I patent it?

  161. Ruthy says:

    I think they should be called…..FIRE-DRAGONS with each team car given a name like e.g.

    Red Bull – Racing Ruby
    McLaren – Silver Flash

    Ferrari – Red Fireball etc

  162. Clarks4WheelDrift says:


    From my son, his fav board game. You mix up characters from hat,head,body,left leg,right leg. He says the car looks like a misfit, like someone built the tip, someone else the nose, someone else the wing etc

  163. Peter Freeman says:

    An aardvark is far too benign, not this is an aardvark forged in steel and on steroids, this is the F14 TERMINITOR

    Ants everywhere now live if fear…

  164. Kenneth M'Boy says:

    Bravo and thank you, James, for the recognition on my comments. Hopefully I will get to proudly laugh my head off when I hear you on ONE HD saying “Jughead wins by a nose”.

    I also would like to add my support to some of the other great comments. I liked the Renault forklift, Kenneth Williams for the McLaren (obviously – what a great name). The Michael Jackson reference made me laugh but I think the best buzzword is with the reference to the Muppets.

    Perhaps this title should also be given to the FIA officials who administered the dimensional rulings that have turned this years Formula One cars into a comedy of errors, what a bunch of muppets.

  165. bbobeckyj says:

    Semantically correct, short and punchy with the right amount of inherent derogatory feeling or emotion, and applicable to all cars.

  166. JPole says:

    ‘Probe’ nose, short for proboscis. Here’s an example – http://cdn.discoverwildlife.com/sites/default/files/images/proboscis_monkey.jpg

  167. Søren Kühle says:

    Big dippers :)

  168. Geezer says:

    I think ‘gopping’ covers them all nicely.

  169. Jeff says:

    dilnose… wait for it to sink in…

  170. Jim Scott says:

    They remind me of the iconic image from WWII…

    “Kilroy was here”

    The Kilroy nose.

  171. George Alaimo says:


  172. Divesh says:

    Hi James.

    Surely the FIA must have known how the teams would interpret regulations regarding the nose?

    The blame must lie with them surely, has anybody from the FIA commented on the nose designs?

  173. Scott Printup says:

    “The Alain Prost”

  174. fox says:

    They all are ugly.

  175. Adelaide says:

    James, I’ve got it! I knew the Ferrari reminded me of something – or someone:
    Greedo from Star Wars! Even the name fits, hehe… :D

  176. Gergely says:

    Simple. Antbeaters.

  177. Bru72 says:

    The Ferrari and the Merc shouldn’t be in this topic, as they look good.

  178. Joseph says:

    They’ve got to be called Gonzo noses surely!

  179. andrew says:

    How about:

    MOSQUITO! Nosed.



  180. James Allen says:

    Like the forklift one!

  181. James Allen says:

    Best keep your powder dry then!

  182. James Allen says:

    Maybe on HBO, but not on BBC for sure!!

  183. Joel says:

    “Lotus is a costly forklift”

    “Costly” or “cheap” will depend on whether you call it before or after Pastor bins it.

  184. Paddy man says:

    How about pallet truck..

  185. Sebee says:

    Now you’d have to explain Kaiju noses. Doesn’t help really.

  186. Sebee says:

    Oh I see. Weird Japanese thing.

    Since that’s where you’re heading…they have weird Tentacle Porn in Japan in attempt to be proper and not show explicit sexual content, how about Tentacle Noses then? That could work.

  187. Shane says:


  188. joe149 says:

    I’m betting that by mid-season, the similarities will be a lot greater. There are all stabs in the dark in a way, no?

  189. Sebee says:

    Have you driven a Ford Probe lately?

  190. Bradley says:

    Not too far from ‘proboscis’

  191. Rod Matheson says:

    These cars give us a double dose of the “Jimmies…….Durante style”.

  192. Random 79 says:

    Looks more like a Brazilian stadium to me.

  193. Random 79 says:

    Sounds like you are beating around the bush.

    James, word of warning: This is going to downhill very, very fast ;)

  194. unF1nnished business says:

    Exactly…I see an excellent opportunity for condom sponsorship this year! Maybe the Ferrari might want to look at Viagra.

  195. Random 79 says:

    So just out of curiosity and purely for research purposes, what could you get away with in relation to these cars on the BBC?

  196. Tim says:

    you can say mine

  197. Random 79 says:

    At least not until they paint the McLaren light blue :)

  198. Jono says:

    Oh this is the one. I can hear the commentators now:

    “Check out the sniffer on the ferrari vs the williams”


  199. James Allen says:

    Don’t get me into Roger Melly territory…

    Mark Hughes – ex Autosport writer and Martin B’s and my helper in the comm box in ITV days – used to always try to do that !

  200. James Allen says:

    Yes, Delighted to work with Allan again this year. He’s a terrific broadcaster and he’s unique among F1 pundits this year as he has driver hybrid turbo engines of this genre (with Audi in WEC) so he knows the game

  201. HerrE says:

    Probebly not…

  202. Ahmad says:

    Or maybe, “claws” for Lotus.

  203. Jock Ulah says:

    Indeed, you wax lyrical . . .

  204. Robert in San Diego says:

    I do not understand why everyone is so reactionary ! I seriously disliked the step noses but I like the Ferrari best and McLaren second this year. I am sure they will change throughout the year but at least they look fast.

  205. Steve Zodiac says:

    Shame Dunlop aren’t the tyre suppliers, they look a bit like “Ground Hogs”

  206. Rich C says:

    No one remembers Jimmie Durante! ;p

  207. super seven says:

    yeah, the Schnozzer cars.

  208. Random 79 says:

    Could that be the yet to be revealed Newey RB10 nose? :)

  209. Rich C says:

    Too local a reference. I had to google it. Interesting site…

  210. Simon Lord says:

    Or maybe Surtees’ old sponsor from the 1970s could re-enter F1?

  211. Random 79 says:

    Only the alien was far more attractive :)

  212. Random 79 says:

    Isn’t Ferrari the oldest? Williams would be Downward Helix.

  213. Random 79 says:

    Penalty: Out of bounds.

  214. Random 79 says:


  215. Random 79 says:

    Well they will be in Bahrain and Singapore ;)

  216. Random 79 says:

    Nah, I wax comical.

    I’m not nearly talented enough for lyrical :)

  217. Darren D says:

    Snazzle! Love it!

    Interview with design engineer…

    “After we solved the basic airflow challenge we decided to add a little snazzle up front spice things up.”

  218. Olivier says:


    Torro Rosso, Williams and McLaren clearly went for the Gonzo look!


  219. Bradley says:

    Just think of what Lotus could manage…

  220. Martin says:

    Nah, Viagra would have to sponsor a BLUE car,
    are you listening Williams ?

  221. Sasidharan says:

    Lucky we don’t have head-on collisions in F1

  222. expatpom says:

    See movie “Pacific Rim” – Kaiiju means “monster” in Japanese I think and they are all different lol

  223. Adriano says:

    I agree! I find it hilarious that an F1 fan would get his/her little knickers in a twist because the cars aren’t as pretty. I think the new noses look really purposeful and, in any case, I would refer to the old adage that a beautiful car is fast car.

  224. J.Danek says:

    “I do not understand why everyone is so reactionary !” > > > Here, let me help you:

    B/c these 2014 “anteater” noses are FUGLY!!!

    Step-noses (especially the F2012) were gorgeous, by comparison.

  225. Jeff J says:

    F1 reminds me of that Kafka novel, every time they change its gets worse. last really good looking car was the 155 Lotus in ’69.

  226. hero_was_senna says:

    Yes I like the Gonzo name.

    Although I’m doubting the BBC would be allowed to describe the Lotus one as a “camel-toe”..

  227. Random 79 says:

    Suddenly I feel old :(

  228. Random 79 says:

    Never-mind Wikipedia: Whatever you do do not – I repeat DO NOT – look up rectal exam on Google Images.

  229. HerrE says:

    We’re on deep water here.
    So I still refuse to use prepuce (it may abuse).

  230. Random 79 says:

    The blue one?

    Well spotted anyway :)

  231. Random 79 says:

    With an “H” for hybrid too :)

  232. Random 79 says:

    Yes I know “H” is actually short for hologram, but just go with it ;)

  233. Random 79 says:

    Now if only we had something to distract us from the double points rule and the noses we’d be set.


    That should do it :)

  234. Random 79 says:

    So…Gecko noses?

  235. Martin says:

    Ahh, you beat me to it, but I posted it in reference to the launch of Toro Rosso above ;-)

  236. deancassady says:

    how about “the fly”?

  237. Adrian Newey Jnr says:


  238. J.Danek says:

    btw, James:

    I think it’s cool to create character-associations for each 2014 car specifically, but what you’re ultimately hoping for is a single term to reference the entire class of designs, no?

    If that’s the case, I like:

    * Anteater;

    * Aardvark; or

    * Elephant-trunk!!!

  239. En1gma says:

    Ferrari/Merc: Snout or ‘droop snoot’
    FI/STR: finger, or maybe anteater
    Red Bull: keel

  240. Ken says:

    Lotus: Twin Beaks
    For the others, beaks which come to mind are pelican and goose. Haven’t seen the Red Bull yet, but there could be a kookaburra there.

  241. D@X says:

    Can imagine the commentators making a meal out of it already, look at the Ferrari sniffing the Mclarens rear, only one car making a double penetration to the corner and that’s the Lotus.

  242. WalterBob says:

    Wait I do! Oh never mind..

  243. Chapor says:

    LOL… “Timmmey!”

  244. Elie says:

    Thats what I call the E 22. Kimi would never have left with that in mind

  245. Al says:

    Which is the lesser of two weevils?

  246. Nigel says:

    Great shame the BBC has lost Gary Anderson, though.

  247. CYeo says:

    Well, some have been caught flat out lying on occasion…

  248. HerrE says:

    Withdrawn! Only out of mind.

  249. D@X says:

    +1 falling of my chair

  250. ManOnWheels says:

    Kilroy noses – what a great idea!

  251. bobster says:

    I think the cars shown thus far are not as aesthetically delightful as, say, the 1978 Lotus, but they are better looking than the step nosed cars. And more diverse! When I first started following F1 the cars all looked different from each other. The Tyrell and the Lotus were the front-runners, but they were very different. The 2014 cars are not that different from each other, but they are pleasingly diverse. I expect that over time the aero guys will home in on the one optimal solution and the cars will all look alike again, but for now lets enjoy the diversity.

  252. Random 79 says:

    So they say, but it also means “strange creature”.

    Fits perfectly :)

  253. Random 79 says:

    Ah yes…Kilroy ;)

  254. Peter Freeman says:

    VERY good!

    As for the long protruding front ends they somehow remind me
    of a rooster… now a rooster has another name, but I can’t quite bring it to mind… so Rooster Nose it is :)

  255. Hendo says:

    They’re spending all their cash on Nascar

  256. HerrE says:

    I think the Technoz(es) is a good one!

  257. HerrE says:

    Yes, truly embarrassing!!

  258. HerrE says:

    Please try to catch an echidna, I would love to see a blue one!!

  259. Karl Reid says:

    I still claim ownership of that idea as I tweeted it 40 mins before Ann Summers ;-) look at my time stamp 16:49 yesterday, their tweet 17:30 :-P


  260. iiro says:

    Based on todays running that would be the McLaren!

  261. Kimi4WDC says:

    2005 McLaren what a car.

  262. oddball says:

    +1…….we are now entering the muppet era


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