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Ferrari not done yet handing out gifts
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Ferrari not done yet handing out gifts
Posted By: James Allen  |  14 Dec 2010   |  12:51 am GMT  |  98 comments

Ferrari put its end of season disappointments behind it and held a Christmas party over the weekend in Maranello and the drivers dressed up as Santa Claus and handed out presents to local children.

There was also a show based on the children’s character Geronimo Stilton.

The photo commemorating the event is pretty surreal; Fernando Alonso seems a little self conscious on the right, next to test driver Jules Bianchi, Giancarlo Fisichella (centre) is thinking about calling Vijay Mallya to get his old job back, while Felipe Massa looks comfortable sandwiched between President Montezemolo and a six foot rodent.

Your wittiest captions, please

Photo: Ferrari

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98 Comments
  1. Kenny says:

    It’s a Ferrari Christmas. Starring Fernando Alonso as ‘Santa’. He’s been throwing his toys out of the pram all season; now he can use all that practice to distribute toys to the children! Guest starring Felipe Massa as ‘Santa’s Little Helper’.

    -SPOILER ALERT-
    Special Guest Appearance of Vitaly Petrov as ‘the Grinch who stole Christmas’

    For more information, visit fstr>u.com

    1. Andy says:

      LOL! Can’t top that…

    2. Sebee says:

      You can’t make this stuff up even if you tried! Once again life trumps fiction. I wish this was televised live by FOM with full BBC comentary. Off to YouTube to find video.

    3. christos pallis says:

      awesome, nice one! V funny

    4. RichT says:

      Cracked me up!

    5. Solo says:

      That was awesome. I can’t stop laughing.

  2. Jose Kercado says:

    Come on, Fernando, smile! Look at Felipe, he’s enjoying the whole thing…

    1. toti says:

      Fernando Baby, you had me at YELLOW!

  3. malcolm.strachan says:

    Picture 1: “The unveiling of the B-Spec Santa uniform was a success after the controversy surrounding the original bar-code Santa uniform”

    Picture 2: “With the return of team orders, Ferrari was quick to ask Massa to step aside for Alonso to take the lead in giving gifts”

    1. jonrob says:

      “Picture 1: “The unveiling of the B-Spec Santa uniform was a success after the controversy surrounding the original bar-code Santa uniform””

      This one only has it across the back so keep facing the camera!

      “Picture 2: “With the return of team orders, Ferrari was quick to ask Massa to step aside for Alonso to take the lead in giving gifts”

      But tell me why must we give out all these cigarettes to kids every year? Shut up and read your contract!

  4. murray says:

    Top one: “Stepney? Is that you?”

  5. murray says:

    Second one: “Pfft. They wouldn’t have been game to try and get Jody Scheckter to do this.”

    1. murray says:

      alternatively: “Ignore the barcode device. It’s meaningless.”

  6. Doug says:

    All thinks… “how did the mouse in the Renault get on pole?”

  7. Andrew Myers says:

    Felipe, Fernando is handing out presents faster than you. Please confirm you understand.

    1. SpeedSaint85' says:

      HA HA HA HA HA…..BRILLIANT BUDDY! SORRY FELIPE!!!

    2. Henry says:

      Very good! however, I think James already came up with the best caption:

      “Felipe Massa looks comfortable sandwiched between President Montezemolo and a six foot rodent.”

      …where he has spent the entire season… ;)

  8. Andrew Myers says:

    I think it’s a bit rough that Montezemolo didn’t dress up either.

    1. Galapago555 says:

      Fully agree. Would have paid for seeing that, LOL!!!

  9. Graeme says:

    Caption – Montezemolo turns to Massa and says “Alonso is a grumpier Santa than you, can you confirm you understand that message?”

  10. Prisoner Monkeys says:

    “Your wittiest captions, please”

    With pleasure!

    Vitaly Petrov: “Guys … remind me again why I’m wearing a giant rat costume. Because I looked in the script and it doesn’t mention rats at all …”

    1. Prisoner Monkeys says:

      And for the second picture …

      Felipe Massa: “Merry Christmas! Here’s a race win for you and a race win for you and another one for you …”

  11. Mike from Medellin, Colombia says:

    Montezemolo to the Rat:

    “No Max! You can’t hold one of your fetish parties at our facilities”

  12. J. Singh says:

    Teasing headline…but good-humored :)

  13. Mike from Medellin, Colombia says:

    Montezemolo to the team:

    “This year, as a gesture, we’ve invited the two pay drivers that HRT is considering for next year”

  14. sfz says:

    Notice the subliminal Marlboro branding.

  15. Danny George says:

    Pic 1 : On left extreme, the rat that taught Ferrari how to do a Red Bull – Mr. Flexi Front-whiskers. (photo taken by Darren Heath)

    Pic 2 : Race Engineer (left of Bianchi in photo) to Massa : “Felipe, Fernando’s hand is ahead of yours. Can you confirm that you understood that message?”

  16. tank says:

    So that’s why Alonso grew a beard.

    The mouse gives scale, to how little F1 drivers have to be these days.

    Ferrari’s team orders, infinitely more transparent than the windows in the set’s background.

    Alonso thought bubble: “How am I going obsess about Lewis AND Vitaly’s on-track positions next year, without looking silly to the whole world? Oh, wait…”

    Luca Di Montezemolo, the only guy there that relieved his bladder before going on set. And looking rather proud of the fact.

  17. d.h. says:

    Ferrari announce Roland Rat is Fernando Alonso’s teammate for the 2011 f1 season.

    Roland said in a press conference ‘im definitely faster than Massa’.

    1. James Allen says:

      or rather…”Fernando is not faster than me..”

  18. Iain says:

    Alonso: Luca di Montezemolo said that if i won the championship then i wouldnt have to dress like a fool!

    Massa: Luca di Montezemolo said that if i wont the championship then i would get to be the rodent!

  19. tank says:

    oh… Alonso lying through his teeth: “Even though I lost the championship, whined about practically all the other drivers I couldn’t overtake, winged about how unfair the safety car was to me, and now the humiliation of dressing up as santa and having pictures posted all over the internet, *still* my best year.”

    Flamers: ignite!

  20. Graeme says:

    The post of the year and it won’t even be in the book.

    This paragraph did it for me:
    “Fernando Alonso seems a little self conscious on the right, next to test driver Jules Bianchi, Giancarlo Fisichella (centre) is thinking about calling Vijay Mallya to get his old job back, while Felipe Massa looks comfortable sandwiched between President Montezemolo and a six foot rodent”

    How do you beat that for the wittiest comment?!?!

  21. Galapago555 says:

    - Fernando: “This is ridiculous, guys”

    - L di Montezemolo: “We are a big family, aren’t we?”

    - Fisico: “Mmm… What am I doing here?”

    - Felipe: “OK, I accept dressing this stupid Santa disguise, and in return I will have no more to support the other one”

    - TEAM RADIO: “NOW, FELIPE, GERONIMO IS TALLER THAN YOU, PLEASE CONFIRM YOU HAVE UNDERSTOOD THE MESSAGE”

    (…)

    - TEAM RADIO: “”FELIPE, PLEASE CONFIRM YOU HAVE UNDERSTOOD THAT GERONIMO STILTON IS MUCH TALLER THAT YOU”

    (…)

    - Felipe: “Wait, i will move a little onwards, I can’t hear you with this enormous mouse next to me”

  22. monktonnik says:

    In Maranello, even Babbo Natale knows that he drives his sleigh for the team.

  23. Daniel Jackson says:

    “A rat? I thought we had sacked Nigel Stepney??”

  24. Chris says:

    Ferrari remained unimpressed at Schumacher’s attempt to reintegrate with his former team.

  25. I love to see the wording in there contracts that says they have to dress as santa ! LOL alonso missed reading that lol

    good to see them like this though .. pretty sure some drivers would not do it.

    Matt

    1. James Allen says:

      Agreed. Very good humoured

      1. F430-FOX says:

        But once again, Felipe seems to enjoy himself more than Alonso. Same for the roller-coaster ride in Abu Dhabi. Felipe showed genuine fun, Fernando gesture said that he preferred to be anywhere else than on the ride.

        Felipe appears to be a far more relaxed person than Fernando in general.

        James, is this your impression too, having seen both drivers up close?

      2. James Allen says:

        Fernando is more intense, yes

    2. Alchemy says:

      Maybe that’s why Alonso wins more often?

  26. Mohammed Al-Momen says:

    James I’m wondering is Alonso always as grumpy as he looks in the pictures?

    Also just want to say I’ve been following your analysis for years now from the ITV website and now on here. Great job and keep it going merry Christmas to you and all Formula 1 fans.

    Mohammed
    Saudi Arabia

    1. James Allen says:

      No..but I like the way he’s as far away from the rodents as possible. THanks for your good wishes

  27. Anthony Cliffe says:

    ‘Guys! I can’t believe we all came as Santa’s! . But you have to admit those two marshals do a great job for the rat race! ‘

    Picture 2 – Massa – ‘I’m used to giving out presents, here kids have some points in a box, your probably faster than me anyway…’
    Alonso – ‘Wonder what’s in these presents? Still beats the last few Christmas’. Ron denis gave me a bitter lemon’

    Bianchi – ‘ I signed up for this? ‘

    Kids- ‘I don’t care if your a two time world champion ! I want a Ferrari!… Well my dads asked you to ask… Please. Its better than this empty box you just give me to look like Ferrari where kind. Pah’

  28. Spark says:

    I can imagine all are having the same sort of thoughts.

    “When I read in my contract I have to wear red business clothing, this wasn’t what I had in mind.”

    “I always said red was the most beautiful color to wear in Formula1, but I am having second thoughts now”

    And specially for Alonso:

    “Now I understand why I couldn’t overtake Petrov, all those toys were causing such a drag…”

  29. Tony Swales says:

    McLaren go to extraordinary lengths to infiltrate Maranello.

    1. James Allen says:

      Button dressed as Stilton, you reckon?

  30. Phil says:

    Alonso did warn rivals Ferrari would be stronger in 2011 but a massive bag of pot will do strange things to a person’s mind.

  31. Nick says:

    Caption – “Looking back, it’s easy to see why Ferrari were so opposed to budget cuts”

  32. azac21 says:

    “Massa finally has the upper hand on Alonso!”

    “Seb Vettel receiving his championship gift(ed) from Ferrari”

    “Luca Montezemolo prepares to lunch his political challenge on Berlousconi”

  33. Chris says:

    When Ferrari announced their new ‘give way to any driver to your left’ policy, Massa was delighted that at least the guy in the yellow jacket would move out of *his* way. Alonso, meanwhile is thinking ‘As it should be.’

  34. Frederik says:

    I love Fernando’s guted face in his santa suit, it’s just epic. Looks like the ultimate punishment for losing the WC.

    Shame they never forced Kimi to do this.

    1. Lilla My says:

      OMG! Kimi could be so funny! I’d love to see that! I love grumpy Alonso – he always makes me smile (I prefer the smiling one, but the grumpy Alonso is just always so adorable).

    2. Mark V. says:

      When no one is looking Fernando turns his back and quickly taps a text into his phone: “Kimi, want your old job back??”

  35. Peter Hermann says:

    I thought some comments on this blog couldn’t reach a new low, but i was wrong obviously- Alonso is not looking ‘grumpy’ at all on the pictures make them bigger and you will see he is smiling.

    I’m sure they all had fun, a lot more fun than those who take every given opportunity wasting their time with having a go at Ferrari/Alonso.

    1. VicWeir says:

      Anti Alonso-ites never miss an opportunity to express themselves on the subject – even a Christmas jolly must be soured.

      But if Fernando ever reads any of it – which I very much doubt – I guess he just cheers himself up by looking at his pay cheque!

      Should he be glancing this way though – Happy Christmas, Nando and a great 2011!

  36. Lilla My says:

    That’s funny! It reminds me of the sureal sessions BMW Sauber used to have. And I thought Ferrari didn’t do it to its drivers!

    Why does Alonso always have to look like the grumpiest man in the world? C’mon, it’s Christmas and everybody loves Santa but he looks so uncomfortable! I’m not Spanish, but I’ve seen him on Spanish TV a few times and he definitely seemed much more cheerful, friendly and funny.
    Yet normally he looks like he wanted to kill everybody around. It actually always makes me laugh how he manages to remain serious and a bit uncomfortable in all kinds of situations. Funny. No wonder so many people don’t like him :)).

    I’m only sorry that Luca didn’t dress up as Santa – that would be a view to remember!

    Side note: James would it be possible to make the pictures become bigger when you click on them? Because sometimes one would like to see a better version of the pic, but it remains so small when you click on it…

    And I’ve just got your book a few minutes ago! You kept me waiting for two weeks but it seems it was worth it and it’s such a nice early Christmas present and the winter break won’t be that bad now :).

    And your son’s name is Enzo… now that makes it quite clear which team you support ;-).

    Merry Christmas.

    1. James Allen says:

      Which is….? Don’t draw that conclusion. The name is from another connection.

      1. Edd Porter says:

        Everyone knows James is a McLaren fan! ;)

    2. Murray says:

      To enlarge the pix, click on them to get them alone, then right click and open in new tab or window and they’re fullsize. The link is on the link. F1 chicanery doesn’t have to carry through to coding, James!

      1. Lilla My says:

        That’s smart. Never thought of that, thank you. They are indeed bigger now and I can fully see how happy Massa is standing to that huge mouse :)

  37. Robert says:

    Picture 1 – Alonso: ‘I wish i was in the giant rat costume’

  38. Massa: “I think I’m going to like my new Team Boss!”

    Alonso: “Great. How am I going to get this mouse to do things my way now?”

  39. Spyros says:

    I can’t come up with better caption than those here.

    But, I think that somewhere, Michael Schumacher is laughing and feeling really thankful that he switched bosses!

    1. Drez says:

      Are you kidding!!!!

      Michael Schumacher Eau de Perfume.
      Michael Schumacher After Shave.
      Michael Schumacher Hair & Body Shampoo.
      Michael Schumacher Man Eau De Toilette.
      Michael Schumacher Perfume Deo Spray .

      And the Pièce de résistance,

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TZSD4QqPTTk&feature=player_embedded

      1. Spyros says:

        I stand corrected!

      2. Alex says:

        Both Michael AND his monotone out of sync thick German accent are totally ‘worth’ that amount of hilarity!

  40. “Felipe Massa looks comfortable sandwiched between a six foot rodent and a man dressed as a rat.”

    1. monktonnik says:

      very good

  41. James Ash says:

    “Jerry, DangerMouse is faster than you. Can you confirm you understand this message?”

  42. kostre says:

    Alonso: is hamilton going to be penalised of his christams presents?
    Alonso’s engineer: lets concentrate on our party fernando.

  43. unoc says:

    Alonso drives for the red team in their red cars and now he has a red face.

    Is it just me or does massa seem like a 4 yr old emotion wise? On the rollarcoaster he seemed to be loving it, now he sseem quite happy in a santa costume being photographed.

    On a side dark note… could this be due to the crash at all? I know some people with brain injuries ‘loose certain emotions’ per say and when experiencing them afterwards show the emotion is a much less ‘sophisticated (sorry, really wrong word, but can’t think of a better one)’ way? Only other TV person I can think of who has had this was Hammond from TopGear, and I think I can remember he writing or saying somewhere about that he experienced certain emotions differently and from a new start after his crash.

    I know not everyone is like that, and I can’t remember Massa previous to his crash much (ignoring 2008 as it was a serious championship year).

  44. Alex J says:

    “Felipe. Fernando is more generous than you! Can you confirm you understand?”

    or

    “WHITE BEARD!I NEED THE WHITE BEARD!!”
    “Felipe baby be cool!”

  45. Richard M says:

    Niki Lauda Rejoins Ferrari as Brand Ambassador.

  46. Tom Bray says:

    Pic 1:
    LdM: Felipe, meet your replacement.

  47. Brian says:

    Luca DiMontezemelo gets Niki Lauda back to give surprise Christmas team pep talk…

  48. Bob says:

    Fernando: “I’ve read my contract and it looks like Felipe will be gifting me next years championship!”

    Felipe: “Hmm, I smell a rat . . .”

  49. Bob says:

    Photo 2:

    Felipe: “Hey Nando, where are all your toys?”

  50. Craigyj85 says:

    Fernando doesn’t look very alonso-ho-ho does he?

  51. Austin K says:

    First picture, Massa to Rob Smedley dressed up in the rat:
    “I NEED A WHITE VISOR. Otherwise I cannot see anything”
    “Felipe baby stay cool. Just open your eyes…”

  52. Adam Taylor says:

    Ferrari thought that it was only right to end the year to carry on handing out gifts. They finished the year handing the trophy to Red Bull and Sebastian Vettel, now they are handing it out to kids in Maranello, although I do wonder if they are Ferrari based merchandise.

  53. Mike Misgerett says:

    Out of all the above, Kenny’s first reply is still the best by far: A big LoL!

  54. Colin says:

    Felipe Massa, seen here between a rat and a 6 ft rodent in a yellow suit.

    or

    Ferrari Christmas party eagerly awaits the Red Bull delivery!

  55. Peter says:

    Ex Ferrari team principle and current FIA President Jean Todt makes a surprise appearance dressed in swanky yellow raincoat at the Ferrari Christmas party.

  56. Andy C says:

    Felipe > mr stilton. Those trousers you’re wearing are dreadful. Where did you get them?

    Geronimo > eddie Jordan.

    ———–
    Or felippe to Luca.

    We said you were to dress as dangermouse, not Rodney dangerfield.

  57. Marc says:

    It’s Luca’s Neverland Maranelloland moment! He waited all year for it.

  58. Rishi says:

    Some of the previous suggestions are far better than this one but it’s all good fun.

    Second Photo: Yes, we confess Eddie [Jordan]. We’re sorry. It was theft – we did take your stock of Coventry City (the team Eddie supposedly supports) scarves!

  59. Tony G says:

    Alonso: I thought Lauda left Ferrari ages ago
    Massa: If Luca mentions my brother again I’ll sool Niki here onto him

  60. DM says:

    Picture #1 – caption

    To show that there were no hard feelings, Ferrari invited Vitaly Petrov (far left) to the company’s Christmas party. Also in attendance was Max Moseley (third from right) who gatecrashed the event after hearing that there would be other adults playing dress-ups.

    Picture #2 – thought bubble over Massa’s head:

    When I read in my contract “agrees to hand out gifts to spoiled little brats”, I thought they meant this gig…

  61. Toby Bushby says:

    And Now For Something Completely Different:
    First photo:

    Alonso to Bianchi: Evenin’ squire! Are you a goer? Ay, know wot I mean, know wot I mean, nudge, nudge, know wot I mean, say na more.
    Bianchi: I beg your pardon?
    Alonso: Do ya go? Ay? Know wot I mean, know wot I mean, do ya go, ay?
    Bianchi: I sometimes go….
    Alonso: I bet you do, I’ll bet you do, say na more, say na more! Know wot I mean? Nudge, nudge.
    Bianchi: I’m afraid I don’t quite follow you…
    Alonso: Follow me, follow me! That’s good, that’s good! A nod’s as good as a wink to a blind bat…
    Bianchi: Look, are you selling something?
    Alonso: Selling, selling, very good, very good, know wot I mean… Umm, are you a sport? Ay? Like games, do ya, been around a bit, have ya, he asked him knowingly… say na more, say na more…
    Bianchi: Look, are you trying to insinuate something?
    Alonso: Nah, nah, no, no, no, no, no, no. Yes.
    Bianchi: Well?
    Alonso: Well, I mean, err. You’re an experienced driver. You’ve raced cars. You’ve won races, championships, y’know – without having to give away victories to your teammate…
    Bianchi: Yes.
    Massa and Fisi: What’s it like?

  62. Officer Crabtree says:

    Alonso: “The things I have to do, just because I’m sponsored by Santa-and-deer”.

    1. Kieran says:

      +1

      Awful, but wonderfully so ;-)

  63. Ray S says:

    Seriously guys, you have Felipe “Santa” baby and nobody’s thought to do this yet? Well here’s my shot at the song sung by Fernando to Felipe (with backing vocals by Rob Smedley)

    Felipe baby, slip a podium under the tree, you see
    I’ve been “faster than you”
    Felipe baby, I’ll overtake in Germany tonight

    Think of all the wins you’ve missed
    Think of all the pit babes you haven’t kissed
    Next year I could be oh so good
    Let me past and make all the fans miffed

    Felipe cutie, there’s one thing I really do need, the deed
    To the whole red car team
    Felipe cutie, I’ll overtake down the pit-lane tonight

    Felipe baby, forgot to mention one little thing, a win
    I don’t mean one deserved
    Felipe baby, I’ll overtake in Germany tonight

  64. Rufus Ruffcut says:

    Prancing Reindeer Panto Productions Presents

    “Who gives an F duct”

    Starring:

    Fernando Alonso as Cardinal Ximenez of Spain
    Jules Bianchi as Brian of Nazareth
    Giancarlo Fisichella as Ebenezer Scrooge
    Felipe Massa as Tiny Tim
    Rob Smedley as Fredo the giant rat

    Written and directed by Luca Brasi Di Montezemolo

    December 6th to December 24th at the Place de la Concorde Paris Playhouse.

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